and the only difference is that I now have the meds to off myself. Every evening when i'm alone the tentation to take all the pills is so strong... the only reason why i haven't tried again yet is because i know it would have more chances to work if i waited until next week. it's stupid though, i have a ton of reasons to live. I have a whole new life ahead of me, i just don't know if i'm more afraid of failing or succeeding and having no reason to kill myself anymore. It doesn't make any sense. i'm not making any sense, even to me. sorry about the rant, i'm blaming the meds.