just spent 3 weeks in clinic

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Moony, Jul 17, 2008.

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  1. Moony

    Moony Well-Known Member

    and the only difference is that I now have the meds to off myself. Every evening when i'm alone the tentation to take all the pills is so strong... the only reason why i haven't tried again yet is because i know it would have more chances to work if i waited until next week.

    it's stupid though, i have a ton of reasons to live. I have a whole new life ahead of me, i just don't know if i'm more afraid of failing or succeeding and having no reason to kill myself anymore. It doesn't make any sense. i'm not making any sense, even to me.

    sorry about the rant, i'm blaming the meds.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Do you live with anyone? If so can you give your meds to them and have them ration theamount you are taking. I know how easy it is to take them all. I had one med my doctor prescribed that you could get stoned on. So my fiance took them and would ration them out. The only problem was she started taking them and got addicted so I was coming up short every month.
    I finally went cold turkey and quit taking them all together.
    What is happening next week that you feel would be the right time?
    Did they set you up with a therapist when you got out? You really need one to help you sort this out! I hope you don't do anything to harm yourself. We at the forum are here for you!! Please keep talking to us. It is better that you get it all out in the open so we can help you sort things out. Good Luck and if you need to vent feel free to PM me.
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Perhaps it's the change that is having some sort of effect. See how it goes for a few more days or possibly a week and see how you feel then but no matter what, don't end it.
  4. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I felt the same way after being in a clinic. Those days were really hard. I did attempt another time a couple of months later, but since then, I try to take life a day at a time. The meds are still there, but by using coping skills, I've been able to focus on reasons to keep living. I hope you'll be able to move your thoughts away from wanting to die to the possiblity of living.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't think those feelings are so uncommon when you first get out. While in the hospital you were under strict supervision. You have your freedom back and control and that can be a bit intimidating. Give yourself time to settle in and use the skills you learned inside. If you need to find somewhere safe to put your meds then do that. Build in a safety net where you can't just grab them on impulse. You have come this far, don't waste your efforts. You can continue on. :hug:
  6. Moony

    Moony Well-Known Member

    Thanks and hugs to you all. I've spent about almost a week out of the clinic now (seems like forever) but I think I've seen the worst of it. Maybe the happy pills are finally kicking...

    Anyway I think maybe, just maybe, i'm gonna be ok now.
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I really hope you are going to be OK...and remember, we are here if you need to lean on someone...please PM me if I can help..big hugs, J
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