I feel a bit better. It's pretty weird, after my first session I went for a 3 hour walk to take it in. There's a lot to dredge up and fix. But I was desperate before I decided to make the decision to go (which felt good in itself) so made myself do it before I did something silly (I was close). What did other people find with counselling? I'm curious to see where it goes (but a bit unsure about what it'll dredge up) But if it gets me over my crippling loneliness, trust issues and self loathing, then bring it on.