just tell me it's ok to die

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by riz, Dec 12, 2007.

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  1. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I'm sobbing again.

    I'm feeling lonely, in an indescribable way.
    Like, I feel that my body is a brittle shell, and my negative feelings are echoing off the walls.

    That's the best way to put it I guess.

    That's it. I'm cutting again.

    I'm sorry everyone. I'm letting you down. I've been SI free for awhile, but this is becoming too much. I need to open this all up. I've been wrapped up for a long time. I'm going to cut to set myself free. If only I could go deep enough to end it. That would be a relief.

    To Rob:
    I still haven't gotten over it.
    You were the only one that knew all of me.
    Why the fuck did you leave?

    It's only fitting.
    I'll cut to the one song that I had,
    on the 2 year anniversary of you abandoning me.

    Winter makes me feel so cold. That should be obvious, but I used to be warm in your arms. But, who am I kidding? We were best friends, but not good enough for you to handle this.

    I miss you most on winter mornings
    as we drift we slip through evenings, whoa-oh
    we drive into the cold and dark with fingers crossed
    I follow your eyes to avoid from getting lost

    And all I had was the memory of what was
    so let's pretend it never mattered to us
    I hope this message finds you well,
    Never thought I'd live to tell.

    Sorry kids. I wasn't meant for this.
  2. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    hi honey sounds like you have had a hard time lately, or for awhile anyway. Sorry to hear its been so hard, try to hang in there. You can be loved agian, its amazing how deeply you love and that is a gift... for sure. I wish I had someone love me and need me that much.
  3. Beattles

    Beattles Well-Known Member

    fuck guys i think he/she is.. you know.......
    sorry wont make the pain go away
    i dont know what to say..

    by the way what is SI??
  4. SoHappyItHurts

    SoHappyItHurts Well-Known Member

    self injury
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    Riz, so sorry you are hurting and i feel your pain, i honestly do.
    but its not ok to die.

    none of us asked to feel this pain, it just happened because of various reasons but this is what we have.
    the pain, the worry. this is us now.

    but you need to fight this hun, you need to find some way to see another day.
    don't give in please, it will take time but each one of us here can do it.

    one step at a time, one day at a time

    always here if you need to chat or just scream.

    stay safe

    andy xx
  6. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Big hugs riz :hug:

    As with Andy, I'm always here ya wanna rant, a chat etc :)

    Take care

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