i've been think nearly all night. and this idea has been bouncing around my head for a while i am all for 'recovering' and getting better. but i truely believe i will never be better. i can never escape what has already been done to me. i will live with those moments for the rest of my life. there is no way of solving it. i have been punished enough by my, all be it , short, life. i dont want another 60ish years of this. i dont want another minute of this. how are you supposed to get over abuse, rape, being left to fend for yourself the majority of your life? i've really genuinely had enough. no "stay strong" i've always been strong. no more. i dont want it any more.