Just tired of feeling like this the time is near

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ddman, Jan 16, 2009.

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  1. ddman

    ddman Member

    I've run out of my survival energy. I see no reason to live. Nothing to look forward to. Taking Wellbutrin for almost 2 weeks. Helped a bit for a few days then it just numbs me a bit.

    After this weekend I'll be flat broke. Not a dime to my name. The stress has been terrible. Depressed on and off since chilhood.

    I have nothing to live for. Nothing to look forward to. Isn't that pathetic. I wish I could cry but the meds won't let me.

    I need to write another note.........
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello DDMan,
    Welcome to the forum!!! You have taken the first step. We are here for you. We will offer what support we can and try to help you figure out options.
    You were a little vague in what is happening with you. Are you living on your own facing loosing your place? are you working? Do you have somewhere else you can stay like your parents? You see theres alot of what if's there can you give us a little more info on your situation? Take Care!!~Joseph~
  3. ddman

    ddman Member

    Losing my room next week. Working but depression prevents me from going to work..I try, but don't make it. Parents are dead. I'm 57. Little to no family. No reason to live.
  4. ddman

    ddman Member

    Crisis seems to be over, at least for now. Wellbutrin is kicking in after 2 weeks. Hope it continues to provide some relief. Being depressed all the time sucks.
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Yes it does. I am on Lexaparo and Abilify.....and it doesnt always work. :sad:
  6. ddman

    ddman Member

    I guess Wellbutrin won't work as well as I thought it would. The problem I have is that i've lost the will to live. No medicine will help with that. I've already researched how. I think I'm going to write a few notes.

    Living with depression for all my life has taken its toll. It's robbed me of my will to live. I'm so embarrased about it too. Most folks don't understand what it is to be depressed all the time and not being able to do anything about it.

    I even had one shrink tell me "think good thoughts". I wish it were that easy.
  7. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Keep talking,theres many here who feel exactly the same as you do right now.Medication can help when you find the right one,dont give up,we can help talk to us,
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi hun . . . . i am so sorry you are in a rough spot. you are SO right about most people not understanding. . . . we do not WANT to be depressed. some people think we are like this, on purpose. and, it must be scary to think you will lose your home, and i know also, it is scary to be getting older and feel like you have no more options.

    s.f. is a good place to come. it is a caring place. . . . if you can keep reaching out here, try to be good to yourself. . . treat yourself kindly and do not hurt yourself.....maybe you will get to a point where some options do open up, and you are better able to cope. i find that it comes in waves, personally - not sure about yourself.

    there is always someone here! for sure. it has saved me, these last few days. pm me, or someone else here, there are lots of us here that care about you! :hug:
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. Give your meds more time. 2 weeks really is not that much time. The mind is such an unknown that meds must be toyed with to find what works. You may need a combination of things or even a different kind. Don't give up. We will do what we can to support you. :hug:
  10. ddman

    ddman Member

    too late. I've had no joy in my life for many years. Even if I were to survive past today, there would still be no joy. I wish other well.

    I high overdose of my diabetes medicing will make it painless.

    God bless all here.
  11. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Please dont do this were here for you,please talk to us.
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I relate to how you are feeling. I am 52 and have been isolated to my bedroom for 15 years. I went 14 years with no outside contact with anyone but my therapist and shrink. I didn't have a computer back then and would just lie there staring at the ceiling fan day in day out. My mind after a while would just be blank. The rest of the time I would just lie there wollowing in my misery and crying.
    Finding this forum has become like a lifeline for me I have opened up and talk so much ppl are probably tired of hearing me. Thats 14 years of holding it all in coming out. So you see you aren't alone. Like gentlelady said give your meds a chance. You might have to go on a combination of meds. I take five different meds for depression, irrational thoughts, anxiety, mood swings, etc. etc. etc. I think you get the point. You really need to find someone to talk to. Maybe have yourself admitted in the hospital for your thoughts your having. They will evaluate you and also give you a referral to see a therapist on the outside. If you can't afford it go down and apply for medicaid. There are always options you just need to step back and look at them.
    We here at the forum are always around you can talk to us day and night. Don't think you are alone this place can indeed help. If you need to talk then feel free to PM me.~Joseph~
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