Just... tired.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Del, Nov 23, 2009.

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  1. Del

    Del Member

    Kind of sucks that my first post on the forum is this. I officially don't know what else to do. It's not just mental pain, it's physical too, I'm exhausted. I thought going off to college would cure my terrible depression and it's only made it worse.

    All of my friends are ill with me, not just a few, all of them. I don't do anything right. I'm selfish and narcissistic. I stand for nothing, and I do nothing. I want to die because I don't know how to deal with my problems on my own. I know all of this, it's nothing anyone has to tell me, I already know. I'm tired of crying, tired of longing, I'm tired.

    My roomate doesn't sleep in our room anymore because she's so tired of me, I can't blame her. I'd leave too if I could. Anxiety cripples me everywhere I go. I can't so much as walk through the door of my dorm without feeling it's affects. I've missed so much class it's not even funny. I don't want to see friends, or exfriends. I'm sick of walking around a campus where I'm so hated.

    I can't leave my dorm, I'm going to fail my classes, nobody will talk to me, and I'm so... so tired.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Del and welcome...college is such a hard adjustment!!! I almost failed out...have you sought any support? Maybe talking to someone who can guide you would be of help...we are here and there are a lot of us who understand the feelings you have described...please continue to post and get to know ppl here...big hugs, J
  3. Del

    Del Member

    I'm in counseling, it's not doing much. She tells me I need real therapy and I agree, but even with my insurance I can't pay for it.

    This is kind of my last hope. Otherwise, I just don't know. Thinking about death is painful and so is thinking about my life... I don't take these feelings lightly at all. I wish they'd go away... I wish I could go away... even just for a while and then come back feeling okay.
  4. Del

    Del Member

    Anyway, I'd love someone to talk to... please PM me... knowing someone cares would really help.
  5. brueyh1976

    brueyh1976 Well-Known Member

    Just PM'd you and sent a friend request too.
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