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just tired?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by She had wings, Oct 5, 2006.

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  1. She had wings

    She had wings Member

    Few days ago my mom sent me to the basement with an exacto knife to cut up some pieces of cardboard that she was going to recycle.
    I sat down and couldn't cut the boxes.
    All I could do was stare at the knife.
    It's sharp blade.
    And the skin on my arms.
    I thought about blood spreading on it, staining it.
    Ran the knife's edge over my wrist, and shivered.
    Wouldn't let myself do it; I stabbed the fucking cardboard right through to the floor, and left my skin untorn.

    I walked upstairs, smiled at my mom, and told her that the blade on the knife seemed a little loose.
  2. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    Thats the way!! :)

    Keep fighting it :)
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    well done!!

    keep it up hun :hug:
  4. claycad

    claycad Well-Known Member

    Better the cardboard then your skin. I often get angry and want to cut or burn myself, but have always been able to resist by taking my rage out on inanimate objects instead.

    Not to say that is the best way to handle rage, as I have broken several valuable things over the years, both of sentimental and monetary value. Still, I suppose that is better then hurting myself or someone else.

    Stick with the cardboard.
  5. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    I have a special sledgehammer for when i feel that way and an old beat up car out the back
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Well done Shw you've done extremely so well and you could've so easily have gone the other way.You showed brilliant strength and courage to show you can get through this as hard as it is keep it up!:goodjob:
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