I'm tired of being the one to face pain alone. I'm tired of having to be "the strong one" then having my cries for help ignored. What do I have to do to get people to understand my pain? What do I have to do to stop being ignored and treated like a huge stinky turd? Why do I get begged for help from people then the moment I'm suffering everyone just turns their backs and walk away? Why do I have to even exist? Why didn't I die the day my old cat Dylan saved my life? Why can't I find the courage to just end it all? Why are people so crappy and heartless? Why do we have to suffer? Why does pain even have to exist? Why don't people get that it hurts me too much to be alive but I don't have the courage to end my pain and also it would just cause you folks here pain? I just want to die because I can't keep going much longer. If only I could go back to when I was happy. If only I could be someone else. If only I had courage but I'm a worthless hopeless stinky turd who everyone hates and I know I deserve to die.