Just to talk

[kapu]

I've posted here a few times before when I've felt suicidal, but now I believe I have come to the point where I am going to commit suicide. While I don't have a method planned out, I will probably <Mod Edit:Inmemoryofyou:Methods>

I'm in the process of selling my things, I want to travel until the money runs out and then call it quits. This is the difference, in making real moves towards an end. Ive never involved myself in such a way. I guess I'm scared, and I want to tell someone, it's good that this gives me an outlet for doing so. Now that I think about it, perhaps this is counter productive to your cause? I don't mean to be rude, but sometimes diverting the urge to tell someone you know in person to instead an Internet community may lead to a higher risk of actual suicide.. Just food for thought, the irony kind of struck me as I wrote this

Either way, thank you for reading. It helps to release some of the pressure.

 

[total eclipse]

i hope keep posting okay and come to realize your thinking is so distorted that you go get help from a doctor a therapist to get you back on the right path of healing. It does help to reach out okay so keep doing so hugs

 

[LoveBeing]

Hi kapu,

I read some of your other posts. It is true that sometimes good things (such as the money you received when you were 19) bring misfortunes while bad things (such as the situation you are in now) may turn out to be something good…I know this is hard to imagine…

You know that you do have a lot more to go on with in life… You have spent so much time and energy to work towards a life style as you have initially planned. Some things may have not gone as planned, but you know you can always adjust to the actual situation and do what you can, instead of getting stuck in the old but no longer feasible plan(s). Peace or happiness does not really depend on our profession or income…

Maybe it’s overwhelming to imagine how things will go after graduation. What if you just take it easy and deal with whatever comes at this moment? With the kind of state of mind you are in, I don’t know how much you will enjoy your travelling. Maybe you can now make better use of the money left and buy yourself some time after graduation in order to see what you can do then?

Scott Kiloby suffered in twenty years of addiction (and worked as an attorney). He has found a way to “total freedom” and his method “Natural Rest” may work wonders. Here is a video clip where he introduces the method:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEGYglWY1O4

Below is from his website ( http://www.kiloby.com/recovery.php ) under Recovery:

“If you are suffering and seeking within the grips of addiction, I invite you to take a look at what is being said on this page and on this site generally.

I suffered in twenty years of addiction. I searched every twelve step method, religion, self-help book, teaching, and positive thinking program that I could find. The seeking for spiritual enlightenment or self-help became my new drug. It was only when I met the non-dual message that the addictive cravings and obsession greatly diminished, to the point of being virtually absent. Presence was the key. I want to share this message with anyone who is interested!”

I hope you reconsider your options…

 

[Catfreak]

I agree with the above. I June hypocritical there as I feel I'm in a similar boat in that I think I've made my decision so much to the extent I'm eating whatever I please as my last supper is nigh. Yet I'm going to give it one last shot and tell my psychiatrist tomorrow truthfully how I'm ACTUALLY doing. I hope you do too because there has to be some hope, maybe together we can give it one last shot? Just a thought. Thinking of you x

 

[peacelovingguy]

You're not counter-productive to any cause and what you say in no way offends anyone or comes across as rude!

You cannot help how you feel - its not like depression was purchased from the supermarket and you made a 'bad choice' or something. It's just something you have - although something that really does need attending to.

Going on a travelling adventure would be fine if you were feeling fine. But with depression thinking is often out of kilter - and we can sometimes do 'reckless' things. If you are making any life altering decisions when depressed, its more likely you will make bad decisions.

Selling all your stuff to go travelling is the wrong way to go about it.

After all the world will still be here in a few months time - but your mind is hurting in the here and now and that needs attending to.

As for whether telling someone about being suicidal might make it worse - choose who you tell with extreme care - usually a mother or father is the best - maybe an uncle or aunt you get along with or anyone who you trust 100%

Counsellors and the like - we might not trust them 100% but they would be in a world of trouble if they breached the confidentiality that you have when your a patient or whatever.

I hope you make the right choice - and get some help.