Just had my 20th birthday. Spent it alone, like all of them. Five, maybe six years just sitting alone and afraid. Maybe it was all 20 years. Feels so futile and I've got no idea what I can do. I've posted about my family before, they don't help. No one helps. I feel so pathetic even typing this but I just need to say something to anyone. I've spent all my time alone; feels like I've already given up everything. They've given me all kinds of medication but it doesn't help. I wish I could talk to someone. But there's no one around, no one listens to me. No one would take notice unless xxx hospital or something.