Just venting.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Medusa., Mar 16, 2012.

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  1. Medusa.

    Medusa. Well-Known Member

    So about 4 months ago I got out of recovery for my eating disorder but I'm alread slipping, because I never got the emotional and mental help I needed.
    Anyways I feel so bad making people worry about me, my mum has noticed that I don't really eat, I eat one meal a day and even then its not many calories. Everyday now my mum ask me to eat, I feel horrible telling her no, but I just can't make myself eat, I feel horrible at the weight I am now, even though everybody tells me I look good, and better, than when I was at my low weight. A part of me wants to recover but then another part of me feels like this well never go away, I don't know who I am without this, I also hope that this will kill me one day.
    Sorry I just needed to vent and talk to people that understand.
     
  2. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    i know what you mean CantEscape, but you have to realise that you will eventually feel more comfortable being healthy, and you need to keep in mind that your mum just wants to help you. it's always going to be tough, but you'll get through it :)
     
  3. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Anorexia and bullemia are serious mental illnesses that never truely go away, even with the best of support services, I am sorry to say. The best thing you can do if you really want to overcome it is not to suddenly start eating three meals a day but to start slow and easy, just add a little extra food to your plate each day and mentally tell yourself that you WILL NOT move from the table or do rigorous exercise immediately after or skip the next day's meal, until you have finished what is on your plate for that day. It does not have to be fattening food or anything with a lot of calories or sugar, just a little extra of what you normally eat now and take it one day at a time.
    I am assuming that while you know your mum wishes you well to ask you to eat more, you feel a bit overwhelmed by her doing this and would wish her to stop asking, but as long as you are able to keep yourself in check and stick with a plan that works for you in combating anorexia, you will beat it, if you never lose your will power.
     
  4. Medusa.

    Medusa. Well-Known Member

    At Jess I know my mum wants me to be healthy but bugging me about food just makes me angry.

    At Leif I know I need to eat more, I try but right now things are stressful and so of course I do the stupid thing and go to my Ed. The doctor that made me put on weight told me to eat 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. I'm trying to be healthy.
     
  5. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    have you told her that? she needs to know the best way to help you, and if you have any (sensible) ideas for her, then maybe you should share them. bugging you if obviously not it if it's making you want to return to your old ways. talk to her :) you're not going to get better over night, but if you want to head down the right track, then you will.
    i hope things improve!
     
  6. Medusa.

    Medusa. Well-Known Member

    At Jess you're right I should tell her. I just hope she will not get annoyed with me.
     
  7. Owen22

    Owen22 Member

    Hmm add a little additional meals to your menu each day is a very good idea and psychologically tell yourself that you WILL NOT shift from the desk or do extensive work out soon after or neglect the next daily food, until you have completed what is on your menu for that day. It does not have to be fatty meals or anything with a lot of calorie consumption or sugars, just a little additional of what you normally eat now and take it one day at the same period..
     
  8. Medusa.

    Medusa. Well-Known Member

    At Owen.
    I've fully relapsed, I'm barely eating anything. I'm having really high anxiety over eating anything, it's so hard. I'm trying to build up courage to go have dinner, I think I can force myself to have a tiny bit, even though I'm extermely triggered right now. I'll try but I can't promise I'll do it.
     
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