just waiting...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by imsosad, Dec 20, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. imsosad

    imsosad Active Member

    I don't think I can do this anymore. right now I feel like I'm just waiting. I don't want to be here anymore, antidepressants aren't helping, therapist is retiring so I quit today, what's the point? My home has become a battleground. It finally sank in that I don't matter, no one cares enough to help me or step up. I feel like I've lost everyone and it's just too painful to keep trying. I hate my life and hate myself, tired of pretending so nobody gets upset.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Oh hun get your therapist hun to refer you to a new one ok New person could be just what you need hun new The antidepressants try new ones hun or add ons ok don't give up hun I know i hate my life too hun but we can make it better if we reach out I hope you do hun hugs to you
     
  3. imsosad

    imsosad Active Member

    I just don't feel like I'm worth the effort anymore. I've tried and tried. I've taken everything the doc told me to try, gone to therapy, tried to make changes in my family, it's impossible. The only way for me to get through the day right now is to shut down and try not to talk to anyone. My husband keeps nagging me to talk to him and tell him what's going on and I don't care. If I mattered enough, he'd know or at least have a clue. Everyone here is selfish and it all comes down to being my fault, I need to change things, change how I react (therapist's words). The only way for me to change things is to die, nothing else works.
     
  4. VikKalmbach

    VikKalmbach Active Member

    Hey imsosad, you are worth the effort. You sound so frustrated right now and I'd love to be there to chat if you need it. I believe your waiting for something that is coming. My entire philosophy revolves around control and putting your energy into things you can control. One thing you can't control, is anyone. The way your talked to, if someone doesn't understand you etc.. you have no control over. You do have control over how you react tho, how you deal with stresses and the places you take yourself to get away. I feel like you think and think and think, and thinkers are amazing people. You function on a different level from those around you if they don't understand. You are a hero to me for trying, going to therapy, trying the meds, and doing what you can to figure yourself out. Truly, and honestly a hero. Everyone may be selfish, but again, you have no control over them. Your a powerful thinker, bright, and a beautiful person for reaching out, this is never a weakness. I promise you something else will work. If you'd ever like or need to talk, I'm always here a facebook away to talk about anything at all. You, me, my dog, my dogs cat, anything. Let me know here or private message but I will check with you over the next little bit and make sure your okay,

    I don't know you personally, but I love you like a sister, to me you are worth it please keep your head up :)
     
  5. imsosad

    imsosad Active Member

    Thank you both for the replies. Things are still bad and for the first time in a long, long time I drank tonight. Never had a problem with alcohol but just felt like I've tried everything else, why not? I know it may not be a great solution but at least I felt somewhat alive and everyone stopped nagging me to "cheer up" and talk more. What does it matter anyway? My husband's great advice? Make sure you don't take a sleeping pill tonight. Like it would matter except maybe everyone here would have to find some other idiot to be walked all over...
     
  6. VikKalmbach

    VikKalmbach Active Member

    I think its good that you let go, and I feel like you understand that alcohol wasn't necessarily the solution but allowed you to come out of your shell a bit? You are also, clearly, not an idiot at all. It matters because you matter.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.