just wanna cry

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    Its just all too much for me... with the dog being put down, my horse lame, my mother breaking down more, father sick, brother getting worse and worse, all my friends on here are going downhill, i feel more exiled at school (probs my own fault) i just feel like there is no point. no matter how hard i try, to stop siing, to help others, to take care of my animals and family... i seem to not be enough... i just want to cry, but i cant bear myself when i do. Im such a whimp... im so useless... im always in the way... im a pain in the ass... im only hurting people more... so why am i still here? Why do i keep staying... what the fuck is the point? i go... everyone forgets in a few weeeks...

    i was at lunch today, my boyfriend was talking about how suicide was the most selfish thing a person could do, then they started making jokes about cutters.... hes not usually like this... hes usually such a nice guy, it hurt so much, and i had to try so hard not to cry. I was gonig to try to tell him about what i do to myself... but i cant now... i just cant...

    everything has gone to hell, or more like everything has gone deeper into hell... so i guess once again i will say fuck it, and withdrawl into my own personal hell.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Tell your bf hun and get some help for you okay Help him to see how much suffering you are in and that making jokes about people in pain is just not right hun. I am sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed hun Please take time out for YOU okay make sure you look after YOU too hugs
  3. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    My heart is breaking for you, Sweetie. ((hugs)) It sounds like you are in a lot of pain, and you don't deserve it. I'm struggling myself, so I obviously don't have all the answers, but know that I am among the many friends here on SF who truly care. I think that the fact that SF is a community of people who are all more or less in the same boat has it's advantages, but also sometimes it's challenges. As much as we all want to help and be there for each other, we are also working on our own overwhelming issues, and it's sometimes hard to keep up with everyone. Overall though, it's so worth it to me. Life still sucks, but I know my friends in the forum have my back, even if everyone doesn't respond to everyone elses posts (how would any of us ever get anything else done...lol). I hope you continue to reach out and participate. I can only imagine how hard that must have been to hear your BF say that when you were contemplating opening up to him about your own feelings and SH. If he is ordinarily more sensitive and you generally trust him to not turn into an idiot when you talk to him about your feelings, it is probably worth it to find some one on one time and talk to him about it. Everyone needs a support system, Sweetie, and I really hope your BF, and your friends here on SF can be part of yours. Sending hugs and friendship... :console:
  4. Just"That"Guy

    Just"That"Guy Active Member

    I'm sorry about everything, it must be tough. I've had my own family problems, although I think they've blown over for the most part. Maybe if you tell him, his views would change. If it were me and my girlfriend told me I would definitely take a step back and look at things. I'm going through a hard time now with my ex and I guess i can relate in a way. I feel like such an idiot talking to her, i just want to tell her how i feel about myself and the things i want to do but she's moved on and it feels like she doesn't care anymore. -hugs- I hope everything works out for you, you're not the only one who feels useless :[ Sometimes I ask myself what i'm even doing anymore, what's the point? well i guess we can all be there for each other, it's nice to know that we're not alone in our sadness.