Just wanna stop the pain

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by DEADBOY, May 24, 2013.

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    DEADBOY Member

    I'm up here in the mountains, and it's beautiful.
    Fresh air, Starr's shinning soon,
    a creek babbling in my back yard.
    I should be happy.
    I'm not though. The morphine and MMJ
    have dulled the pain a lil.

    All I think about is death. How to die, what
    way to go. Toxic plants seems to be the
    method I'd like to choose. But who knows?
    I just can't stand the pain anymore, I can
    barley get off the couch or out of bed.
    I just want it to end. Is that so wrong?

    My motivation is gone, my hope died along
    with the 80's. all I think about is how to end
    it permanently.
    I've tried many times, came within reach of
    my goal. But some Dr. decided I was worth saving.

    I need a fool-proof method. <edit mod total eclilpse methods>
    I swear if I had a sure fire way; I'd be gone
    right now. But, sadly I don't.
    And I want to be away from all the people
    that could find me. Don't want that for them.

    Wish I knew what to do? I swear it's getting
    to be way too much to handle.
    How do I continue?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2013
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I wish I had the answers, wish I could offer something that would give you the hope you need to keep going. All I can do is offer a listening ear, someone to talk to.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    reaching out here is a first step Knowing you are not alone in your struggle helps Trying things that use to bring you joy even if they don't now sometimes trying them again will spark an emotion Keep talking hun ok Hope sometimes hides itself but it is there You hold on here ok hugs
  4. aaden tolson

    aaden tolson New Member

    I have no answers. What I do know is on more than occasion I was comforted to realize, I was not alone with the pain. There were others who felt just the same. I have absolutely no reason to be sad but I am. Today, was a bad day for me. Yesterday was too, well most of the past week. Everyday is real struggle, for me to find another reason to be. And I tell myself, I might miss the one single greatest most important reason for me being here, so I can wake up one more morning and go try to find that reason once again.

    DEADBOY Member

    Thanx all, it's nice to know that there actually
    good people out there.
  6. aaden tolson

    aaden tolson New Member

    i woke up this morning. this contradictory life. i wish i did not wake but i did, now i have to go search for my meaning and reason for being. maybe i can muster the desire to go visit the vegetables i planted. they are alive too.
  7. Merlin42

    Merlin42 New Member

    I have tried to connect with the suicide hotline chat but they are always busy.. I hope someone sees this and will understand.. Im 44 yrs old and have been hurt in so many ways in my life. I was molestated as a child I have been used by my own family I was married for 15 years and for 6 of them she was cheating with someone and I had no clue.. 2 weeks ago my live in girlfriend left me for someone else saying that I was just not doing it for her.. The day she left she used my credit card to pay her and her new mans phone bill.. I have had enough Tonight I will be useing the <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> to leave this God forsaken world.. My will has been updated and all I have will go to the only good thing that ever came out of my life My son.. I want people to know that you can only push so far before people break. And people to often take kindness for weakness.. Ann I hope this makes you happy Merlin
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2013
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