I'm up here in the mountains, and it's beautiful. Fresh air, Starr's shinning soon, a creek babbling in my back yard. I should be happy. I'm not though. The morphine and MMJ have dulled the pain a lil. All I think about is death. How to die, what way to go. Toxic plants seems to be the method I'd like to choose. But who knows? I just can't stand the pain anymore, I can barley get off the couch or out of bed. I just want it to end. Is that so wrong? My motivation is gone, my hope died along with the 80's. all I think about is how to end it permanently. I've tried many times, came within reach of my goal. But some Dr. decided I was worth saving. I need a fool-proof method. <edit mod total eclilpse methods> I swear if I had a sure fire way; I'd be gone right now. But, sadly I don't. And I want to be away from all the people that could find me. Don't want that for them. Wish I knew what to do? I swear it's getting to be way too much to handle. How do I continue?