I'll keep this short and to the point. I have struggled with depression for years, and have had suicidal thoughts before, I'm just too much of a coward to actually act. My past has been full of failed relationships, due to either myself fucking things up or choosing to date jerks. Now I have been happily with this guy for over 2 years, and we got married 3 months ago. We are already running into problems, due to me bringing up this other guy I knew who I thought I had forgot about but feelings came back up lately. Haven't talked to him or anything, but I told my husband cuz I wanted to be open with him. Now he's angry and probably thinking about leaving me. I mean why not. We've only been married 3 months and I'm already fucking things up. He deserves better. Everyone does. He's a smart guy, he knows he can do better. The world would be a better place if I just didn't exist. <Mod Edit:methods>I just don't want to lose him, he's the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't fucking deserve it. When I die he can be free to find someone whose mind isn't so..fuckulated. Ive already got my will all done and the right car. Just need to write some kind of last note later. If I even decide to.