Just want the pain to end.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xev, Aug 18, 2011.

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  1. xev

    xev New Member

    I thought I had fought my battles with this. By my twenties I had learned not to listen to that voice in my head. But I am in so much pain I just can't keep going on anymore. I can't take another day of feeling totally raw inside. I've lived with a guy for three years who liked to hurt me. Both physically and emotionally. I've ruined my life, there is nothing left to live for.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You have not ruined your life, at worst you have made some bad decisions in not being able to leave your abusive partner earlier. But it sounds like you have and you can start to rebuild your life now. You are clearly strong and I am sure you can do this.
     
  3. Jelly

    Jelly Well-Known Member

    There's always something to live for...you might not be able to see it yet, but people do care about you and you have a bright future.

    Please hold on, I'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain. <3
     
  4. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Having someone treating you that way, that's awful, I am so sorry. The longer you put up with it, the larger impact that person has on you, to make you feel like what they say about you, is true. First, it's your happiness that goes, then it's your self-esteem. You start believing all those ridiculous things that they say about you is true. This is very hard to get away from. Especially was hard with me because of my children. But it takes a strong person to do it. And it takes a while for your heart to heal from something like this. You shouldn't be hard on yourself over what has happened, this is not at all your fault. A man is not a man, when all he can do is dog a woman and beat on her. Have you thought about pressing charges on him? He deserves to be rotting in jail over this. Try to be strong and more caring toward yourself, let this be a lesson learned from life, that you will never let another creep treat you like that. Let it make you a stronger person. From a person who survived this, I can tell you that in due good time, that emotional pain will go away.
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...when we are feeling so depressed, we set ourselves up for being hurt (revictimization)...I have done that several times...for me, I felt so worthless and ashamed of myself, that I found external avenues to make these feelings make sense...please do not fault yourself for the problems of someone else...are you still living with him? If so, I hope you can get yourself into a situation where you are not being treated that way...welcome again, and please PM me if I can share the journey with you...J
     
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