I am really struggling with my feelings.. I wanna be dead right now, I am trying to cope with voices and its getting to much to cope with.. I am getting deluded thoughts that people are out there to hurt me and i tried to tell my CPN today and she changed the subject and didn't wanna talk about it.. Because i feel that the CPN rejected me i dont wanna see her anymore, so i am thinking of cancelling my appointment next Monday.. I keep thinking about my last CPN and how i miss her.. I just want to be dead..