All throughout my life I have had problems with unhappiness. I have always gotten the short end of the stick it seems. I know I probably sound like a whiny teenage brat, but oh well. I guess I am beyond the point of caring what anybody thinks anymore. Recently I have been overwhelmingly depressed, and thoughts of suicide have started to occur. I never thought about killing myself before, but now it just seems like the best solution. I don't think I have it in me to kill myself, yet. I have an extremely small threshold for pain, but I am working on that. Just a few weeks ago I started cutting. I have always been one to cringe at the sight of a blade, but now I am beginning to welcome the feeling of pain. I feel I can work myself up to being able to handle more and more. Anyways, I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't take feeling so horrible anymore. It seems like every time I start to feel even just a little bit happy, something bad comes along to crush those feelings. I feel so lost. I can't take it anymore... I just wanna die.