1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Just want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Murkury, Jan 2, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Murkury

    Murkury Member

    I see the world differently then most people. I don't see a point to life. It seems like the only point to life is trying to satisfy the pleasure center of the brain.
    But if that part of the brain doesn't work properly what then? I don't enjoy doing things I used too, and similarly things that would bother/sadden me don't seem to register. I'm just dulled.

    It takes most of my willpower and concentration to keep my mind stable - but its slowly getting harder.

    I've read other peoples posts and it seems like most people have a reason for being depressed - no job, not good looking, no bf/gf, etc....
    Its been 4 years since my depression started and I figured I could fix it, but I don't know anymore, and I don't want to spend 20years doing a routine which is empty.

    All these sites say that suicide is from people trying to end the pain. I don't have any pain, but I don't have any pleasure either. I guess that would be called empty.

    And as for hurting the people left behind: I figured I'd just move away, lose touch and then end it. Then no one would care or know, they would just figure I'm out in the world living life.

    Very few people know about my depression, its fairly easy to fake most social responses.
    Its like sitting in a chair and bouncing a tennis ball on the ground for an indefinite period. You don't see a point in bouncing the stupid ball but everyone else is doing it so you should too!

    One fear I have about ending it is if I fail and do irreparable damage to myself.
    I think I will just lay down and wait for my body to shut down and die.
  2. Allein

    Allein New Member

    Please no....suicide is a extreme solution,
    You really think you can lose in touch with people and pass away without them knowing? Come on,thats not realistic. They will find out at some point. This is not just about you, not only are you choosing to end your life but you will bring pain to those you know too ...
    I know that feeling, no specific reason to be depressed but living is just so blank and eventless and empty... You just don't know how to continue, right?
    You say no one knows ur depression,maybe you do a damn well job of hiding it. Talk with someone about how your feeling now, it always helps just to have someone listen.
    And yes your fears about it going wrong and doing damage, that 100% can happen. Than youll be even worse than right now, you really want to take that risk?
    I wish you rethink what your planning to do,because circumstances change. Just because your reality is like this now, won't remain forever.

    Best of luck ;
  3. History

    History Well-Known Member

    I'm currently at your stage as well. No longer suicidal because of Effexor but although no pain, no urges, I also have no pleasure in anything at all. The situation is extremely intolerable. I have layed down and wishes I'd just die as well because of this 'no feeling'. Bad news is that it doesnt work. but i do know how u feel though. really sucks.
  4. AEdle

    AEdle Well-Known Member

    : ) Ok first off : This is strange when i read the"empty",on tv started a song with empty :mellow: .

    Same point senor.
    This is not the way you can stop this things...and I think you sometimes think at what would be a life with or if and so on..... (without that was ONLY ONCE and you`d thought at it...)

    The point is that we,you,she.he are/is just ok with this thing and we,you,she,he don`t/doesn`t want(s) to do something to make it better it just goes alone worse.

    Hope you are ok.... :console:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.