Finally I have closed the last chapter of this horrible relationship, this charade where she lied to me every day for 8 years, destroyed any belief I had in humanity. Finally I have sent my very last Christmas card to her family, my very last message of any kind to any of the group of people--her friends and family--who together this year destroyed every last bit of life I had left in me ... Now it is entirely up to me to move on, what is inside my own head, because the rest is over. I just hope 2012 will be a year when I can erase her completely from my brain ... not that I will ever forget the lessons I have learnt: Never to trust another human being; never to put any kind of stock in a relationship; never to believe people have anything but the worst of motives. But I want to stop thinking of her; stop having her name come into my head so many times every day. Somehow, somehow ... please let this year be better.