I cant deal with this anymore...with this constant pain. I dont smile, i dont laugh. its like i live in this little box and nothing outside of it affects me at all. I miss Shane so much...i feel like im dying without him. And he doesnt have his cell anymore...so i have to go days without hearing from him. And my step dad is beating the shit outta me...and has raped me a few times...and I feel dirty all the time, i shower like 12 times a day. its like my life just keeps getting worse and worse. Ive decided that I either have extremely bad luck, was a very evil person in another life or pissed off a witch. Everything just keeps getting worse and i want to get out of here so bad...But I dont have the money for a plane ticket. And my step dad is pinning me down and forcibly injecting me with shit so i cant get a job cuz i cant pass a piss test and generally am too fucked up to move. So i cant leave...i just want to die. I cant handle this anymore. I cant take this pain...God, what do i DO???!!!!