Just want to leave...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Songie, Aug 27, 2009.

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  1. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    I cant deal with this anymore...with this constant pain. I dont smile, i dont laugh. its like i live in this little box and nothing outside of it affects me at all. I miss Shane so much...i feel like im dying without him. And he doesnt have his cell anymore...so i have to go days without hearing from him. And my step dad is beating the shit outta me...and has raped me a few times...and I feel dirty all the time, i shower like 12 times a day. its like my life just keeps getting worse and worse. Ive decided that I either have extremely bad luck, was a very evil person in another life or pissed off a witch. Everything just keeps getting worse and i want to get out of here so bad...But I dont have the money for a plane ticket. And my step dad is pinning me down and forcibly injecting me with shit so i cant get a job cuz i cant pass a piss test and generally am too fucked up to move. So i cant leave...i just want to die. I cant handle this anymore. I cant take this pain...God, what do i DO???!!!!
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What do You Do you phone crisis phone the cops phone emerg dept get help get yourself out of the house and into treatment where you will be protected from yourself and from others Call crisis so you get your meds stabalized and care you deserve you need. Please call and start healing today
     
  3. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    Im not on any meds...other than my trazedone. I stopped taking my bipolar pills about 7 or 8 months ago...
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would hope you call your doctor and get your meds straightened out please get help for you get stable again please call doctors or crisis and tell them what you did and how unstable your are now.
     
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Songie,

    It sounds very stressful. I'm glad you shared so you can get some support here.

    Have you considered going to the police and reporting your step father for sexual and physical assault? I worry to hear that he's beating you and has raped you, and that he's injecting you. It sounds dangerous for you.

    Is there anyone at all in your area that you could tell about this? Perhaps they could help you get out from the abuse. Violet's suggestion to see your gp might be a good place to start - the doctor might have some immediate suggestions to help you get out of that house.

    Update us and let us know you're ok.

    :hug:
    A.
     
  6. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    Im alright i guess...havent done anything too stupid...idk...dont really know what to say...kinda bleh right now. Just wanted to check in
     
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, Songie.

    I'm glad you checked in. :) I can appreciate that you're feeling "bleh" - I don't blame you, hun.

    If things stay or get really bad again with your step dad, do you have any friends or relatives who might take you in a for a bit? Could you get to a shelter?

    Please keep yourself safe from self-destructive urges, Songie. I know it's hard...But I also know that you're strong and courageous and you can do it!

    Keep up us posted, 'K, hun?

    :hug:
    A.
     
  8. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    Im under 18 so i cant go to a shelter or to a relatives without being turned in as a run away...sadness...I dunno...things are pretty shitty here...but im at my sisters right now....which is good, i guess.
     
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