I never asked for anxiety or to be sick, its ruined my life and I used to be so happy damit, I used to LOVE each new day. I couldn't ever understand why people would kill themselves, but now I certainly do and I don't want to keep getting older, its harder the older you get. I don't want to end up a creepy 35+ year old man who wanders the streets and still suffers from anxiety. I just want things to be ok again. I just want to be able to smile and relax. I don't want to be having anxiety when I'm 60 or older either. I did go very well when I was on medication compared to my normal state but the medication had such nasty side effects and I almost lost all my hair. Argh! how to get out of this hell. When I panic I try to remain calm, Tell myself there is nothing to worry about, Stop my jittery and twitching behaviour. and try to think of happy things. argh! time and time again. Vlaium can help but sometimes that only dents things, and of course the more you take the less effective it is and the more addictive it is.