Just want to rest

[Mightbehere]

I never asked for anxiety or to be sick, its ruined my life and I used to be so happy damit, I used to LOVE each new day. I couldn't ever understand why people would kill themselves, but now I certainly do and I don't want to keep getting older, its harder the older you get. I don't want to end up a creepy 35+ year old man who wanders the streets and still suffers from anxiety.

I just want things to be ok again. I just want to be able to smile and relax. I don't want to be having anxiety when I'm 60 or older either.

I did go very well when I was on medication compared to my normal state but the medication had such nasty side effects and I almost lost all my hair. Argh! how to get out of this hell.

When I panic I try to remain calm,
Tell myself there is nothing to worry about,
Stop my jittery and twitching behaviour.
and try to think of happy things.

argh! time and time again. Vlaium can help but sometimes that only dents things, and of course the more you take the less effective it is and the more addictive it is.

 

[fromthatshow]

What do you get anxious about?
Maybe you do not see how you asked for anxiety? But it is something that is there for a reason. Not by chance and nothing that can't be changed. If it's causing you that much distress, trying talking to a counselor. They can help you work through situations in where you feel anxious, where anxiety may have orginiated and why, etc.
You have more control over anxiety than you think. One exercize I did that helped before was listening to this thing called the Linden Method. They said that when you're having a panic attack, make it the worst it can possibly get. That way you'll see that you're controlling it. Helped me.

Hope you find some relief.
God bless :heart: