I'm completely torn. I don't want to live anymore, i have a serious anxiety disorder and i worry constantly about absolutly nothing. I spend my entire day shaking uncontrollably through fear, and i've also developed ocd and it inteferes with my life. If i try and leave the house and walk down the road i suddenly think "have i locked the door?" and i have to go back. Once i had travelled about 5 miles and suddenly thought this, and had to go back. It's so silly and i feel so stupid and useless!
I'm useless with my studies, i don't understand any of my courses. My mum keeps saying she know's i'll do well and all her hopes are on me, and i don't want to let her down! But I WILL fail, i'm hopeless, and i just feel like a waste of space and oxygen.
Im also mega shy and get anxious if anyone looks at me. I find it hard to talk to anyone, and when i do let my guard down and talk to someone, they always stab me in the back and make me even more of an outcast. I'm just too soft to retaliate, and i just let these awful things happen to me, hoping to avoid any more coflict.
I am 100% sure i would kill myself, but my parents would be sooo upset, and i'm scared i'd go to hell. I don't want to go to hell! But i don't want to live either...
I'm useless with my studies, i don't understand any of my courses. My mum keeps saying she know's i'll do well and all her hopes are on me, and i don't want to let her down! But I WILL fail, i'm hopeless, and i just feel like a waste of space and oxygen.
Im also mega shy and get anxious if anyone looks at me. I find it hard to talk to anyone, and when i do let my guard down and talk to someone, they always stab me in the back and make me even more of an outcast. I'm just too soft to retaliate, and i just let these awful things happen to me, hoping to avoid any more coflict.
I am 100% sure i would kill myself, but my parents would be sooo upset, and i'm scared i'd go to hell. I don't want to go to hell! But i don't want to live either...