...i'm not even sure if to someone or myself, but everything just seems so vain, i don't even want to die atm, or sleep it over. every once in a while it catches me off guard, and i look right at it- nothing matters, i'll fall inlove, i'll have no money problems for the rest of my life, no one will lie to me- it'll make no difference. its like taking off the glasses in a 3rd movie and suddenly seeing 300 people raising their hands to fend of air and than you put it back, and its not so fun anymore after a while you forget and enjoy it again until you'll remember it. and there are no chains breaking to set me free for having no consequences to my actions because there's nothing for me to do with this "freedom", nothing that matters not even me. i know it sounds pathetic, but i just needed to know that someone else will see it, maybe it'll pull me out of it again.