Just wantin my head to shut up!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sihuskyzoi, Mar 13, 2016.

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  1. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    It's so loud lately. Reminders of how alone I am. Feelings of helplessness. Hopelessness. And ultimately worthlessness. How do we measure what makes it worth it to stay? I am not sure I know anymore. Nothing changes. I am all I ever will be. And this... this just does not seem worth it to me.
  2. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    I have felt those things many, many times.

    A problem when the head starts yelling... is it becomes hard to see anything else. The brain in panic mode seemingly (maybe actually) shuts down the logic portion and the look for a solution portion.

    Things can change... I am trying to belive that for myself as hard as it is. I don't know what caused you to belive those things... but I know with myself the therapy I have gotten to start breaking donw those beiefs has been huge.

    good luck and let us know if we can do anything.
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry you're suffering *hugs*

    What is going on? Do you feel like opening up a bit about what is happening to you?

    Can I ask you if you're getting any help to deal with this hopelessness you're feeling? Therapy and counseling can really work wonders.
    Like randomguy already said, your brain isn't able to think straight, and further more, a depressed brain will always lie and tell you you're less than what you actually are, it will tell you that you don't have friend while you might have.
    A therapist/counselor can help your brain back on track, as can medication. Please give that a chance. Give YOU a chance.
  4. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    But I really do have no one. My dad died in 2000. My mom a year ago today. Both good people but neither too fond of me. No friends. Just work constantly. I know my head is too loud but it still seems like it speaks the truth. I am so incredibly tired. I legitimately cannot fathom how life could ever feel any better. How anything could ever get any better. It all seems so utterly hopeless. And I am just so tired of trying to just go forward. It's like a new battle every day. I'm so tired. It would just be so easy to not continue. I'm not leaving anybody. There's money to pay for stuff.
  5. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    I just feel so tired of setbacks. And battles by myself. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of feeling so worthless. I am tired of pretending to be ok. And I am tired of playing the game every day. And I am just so frigging tired.
  6. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    I would love to go to therapy. No insurance. An income too high to qualify for anything. But definitely cannot afford 50-100/session. It's like I am just not meant to be. Ya know?
  7. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    I know this feeling all too well, and it gets really scary. The thoughts play over and over and no matter what I try they just seem to get worse. I wish I had the answer. Hope you're feeling better.
  8. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    Thanks Brian. That's it exactly. .. like its on a record. Constant. "You would be better off dead". Etc. Etc. Etc.
    Brian777 likes this.
  9. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    That's what the chatter says :(
    Take care my friend
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