I swear to God. I'm ready to blow up. I'm mad and sad all at the same time. Today was 33 months. Such a long time but so short at the same. Its nearly three whole years. Unbelievable. And probably with the time of the year the emotions are just stronger. I did a competition on something I run, the person who won said they didn't want what I had offered. SERIOUSLY? Why fucking participate then? It has unleashed this deluge of ickyness this evening. Never feeling validated or good enough and all of that fun stuff. It makes me feel like my stuff is shite. And it probably is. Nothing has sold in the last few weeks. The busiest time of year and no sales. It just reiterates all the the negative things I've learned and been taught. And the tears can't come, they keep trying and starting but I have to push them back. Or trying to. They slip out when on my own easiest but whats the point of them? Stupidity.