Just went through the post

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Always Alone, Dec 11, 2006.

  1. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    And guess what there, a fucking letter from my school, with a "get well card". I'm not fucking ill! Just cos the chemical levels in my brain are different to yours, just cos I'm not happy with who I am and where I'm going, just cos I never had it as easy as you, doesn't mean I'm ill! It means I'm different, what makes me wrong and you right?

    Argh, that makes me so mad, I know that not many people know why I'm off (Just 2 of the staff that CAMHS spoke to) but it still hurts to get a card like that.

    Even worse was the 2nd letter, a sheet telling me the dates for my GCSE's, I dont care anymore, they mean nothing to me. If I can drop French and History, I just won't show up for 'em. I don't care anymore, for 15 years all anyone has drilled in to me is "GCSE's are so important, GCSE's are so great, You need GCSE's, If you don't get GCSE's then you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life"

    Well you know what, I hate myself right now, and I don't care about GCSE's. I don't want them, and I don't need them. Why are they so important? All people have told me to do for 15 years is to do well in them, why? There is stuff that is so much more important.

    I know I could do well, but I don't see why, I wasted 15 years on em, when I could have done something meaningful. You know what I want? I don't want a piece of paper, I want 15 years back, and then I want to die. I don't want to live in a worlds where human life is meaningless, and a piece of paper is the the most important thing ever.

    I'm simply not gonna send the sheet back, if its not back my Monday the 11th (Today, humm they sent it at a good time) I don't get entered in, I'm think I just don't send it back.

    Well thats about it, my view on this crap system, thats felt good, Its easy to bitch about stuff thats forced on me. I wish I could tackle the problems I create, in this way.
     
  2. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    I know it's really made you angry and upset, but try to remember that your school was just trying to be nice and show that they actually care about you. I know why you feel it was inappropriate, and to a certain extent I agree with you, but their intentions were good, at least.

    I know what you mean about your exams. I am in the process of not caring about my A Levels :mellow:. It doesn't matter what anyone says, exams and exam results are not the be all and end all of anything. Even if you change your mind about whether you want GCSEs, A Levels, a degree, whatever next year, in two years, or in ten or twenty years, you can take them at any time. Don't let anyone make you feel pressured about something as insignificant as that.

    If you ace them, then that's fantastic :smile:. If you fail the lot, then that's okay too! :arms:

    Though, whilst I hate to break it to you, I do believe that at least your English, Maths, SRS (short course) and Science GCSE exams are compulsary. They will enter you anyway sweetheart.

    At the end of the day that's probably the best thing anyway. What have you got to lose? As I said, even if you fail them all, that's not the end of the world. It's just a few hours out of your life (a few hours too many, I know, but still...).

    I hope you're feeling a bit better for Letting It All Out.

    I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. :hug:

    Hang in there :smile:.

    (By the way, I replied to your PM hon'. :smile:)
     
  3. Porcelain

    Porcelain Well-Known Member

    Getting qualifications is a ticket out of the life you have now. That's how I see it anyway.
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun, stop worrying. You can do your GCSEs A levels whatever, when you are ready to do them.

    We have night schools, colleges etc for people who didn't get them at the set time (thank God for the British education system), you don't have to be dealing with this when you have so much else going on.

    I speak from experience here. Failed physics, chemistry and maths at school.

    Later in life I needed them, went to college did them to A level and aced the lot :biggrin: :biggrin: This after being told that hell would freeze over before I would ever learn chemistry.. Made me feel soooo damn good.
     
  5. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    No way, qualification are a step closer to who I don't want to be, I don't know who I do want to be. But 9A*'s 4 a levels and a degree is not who I want to be, I want to be a person not a list of achievements.

    I tell you what really sucks about the exam system, it is not an accurate way of displaying intelligence. My Sister was a 9A* girl, but all she learnt was to pass exams she has no common sense at all. What would be better would just be loads of those "square thinking" puzzles.

    In the exams they rarely want the answers to the questions they ask:

    • In English they want the answer given in a certain way.
    • In History and RS they want you an answer questions that they didn't ask, they only implied.
    • In design they don't ask any questions (Well they do, but they only account to 40%) they're just looking for a mix of creativity and comment sense (That's why I love design!)
    • In art you could do something amazing, but Arts all about opinion, and A* piece to once examiner, is a fail to another.
    • In French, actually don't get me started on French (Apologies to any French people who may have read this, I have no disrespect for your culture, I just find your language hard to speak, and lack the motives to carry on, so after 5 years of trying I quit!)
    • Maths is actually a good one, they ask what something is they want a straight answer, there is no hidden question
    • Physics is basically Maths, just more complicated
    • Chemistry I suck at understanding, and would definably drop if I hadn't been entered for "Dule Award" sciences. But I accept that it is at least examined well
    • Biology is something where they ask you questions and want the answers , no mind games here. Just like maths only with words

    The fact that your English coursework can be marked by someone who never read the book it about, says it all!

    Anyway I'm sending the form back, but I crossed out French and History, I'm not show, and I'm not going to the classes! I've got way too much going to on right now, to be bothering with exams for topics I don't care about.

    Wow that helped a lot, I love to bitch about education, even though, if given the chance I probably couldn't come up with a better system
     
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Wheeeeee glad to read "that helped a lot" :laugh: :laugh:
     
  7. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    This after being told that hell would freeze over before I would ever learn chemistry.. Made me feel soooo damn good.

    Hey way to go! I hope you made the person who told you you'd never do chemistry feel pretty stupid

    Anyway I'm gonna stop all the ranting now, I just hate exams!
     
  8. netean

    netean Active Member

    was thinking about the card:

    dunno, but could it be that they've sent you a card because they think there you're (medically) ill.

    bearing in mind the taboo about "Mental health" perhaps people at school have just been told that you're (generically) not well.

    unless of course you've been sent a card saying "sorry you're mental... hope the drugs kick in soon" <grin>
     
  9. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Heeheehee :laugh: Hallmark should bring out a card with that message inside! :biggrin:
     
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni


    Oh God..shouldn't laugh...but :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  11. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    bearing in mind the taboo about "Mental health" perhaps people at school have just been told that you're (generically) not well.

    Yer, they do think I'm medically ill but it still hurt to get a card like that, and yer they should definitely make that card!