And guess what there, a fucking letter from my school, with a "get well card". I'm not fucking ill! Just cos the chemical levels in my brain are different to yours, just cos I'm not happy with who I am and where I'm going, just cos I never had it as easy as you, doesn't mean I'm ill! It means I'm different, what makes me wrong and you right? Argh, that makes me so mad, I know that not many people know why I'm off (Just 2 of the staff that CAMHS spoke to) but it still hurts to get a card like that. Even worse was the 2nd letter, a sheet telling me the dates for my GCSE's, I dont care anymore, they mean nothing to me. If I can drop French and History, I just won't show up for 'em. I don't care anymore, for 15 years all anyone has drilled in to me is "GCSE's are so important, GCSE's are so great, You need GCSE's, If you don't get GCSE's then you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life" Well you know what, I hate myself right now, and I don't care about GCSE's. I don't want them, and I don't need them. Why are they so important? All people have told me to do for 15 years is to do well in them, why? There is stuff that is so much more important. I know I could do well, but I don't see why, I wasted 15 years on em, when I could have done something meaningful. You know what I want? I don't want a piece of paper, I want 15 years back, and then I want to die. I don't want to live in a worlds where human life is meaningless, and a piece of paper is the the most important thing ever. I'm simply not gonna send the sheet back, if its not back my Monday the 11th (Today, humm they sent it at a good time) I don't get entered in, I'm think I just don't send it back. Well thats about it, my view on this crap system, thats felt good, Its easy to bitch about stuff thats forced on me. I wish I could tackle the problems I create, in this way.