Just What am I?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by hellwithhugewounds, Dec 28, 2008.

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  1. hellwithhugewounds

    hellwithhugewounds Well-Known Member

    This is regarding my sexual orientation. I have no clue what's going on with that stupid little thing. I'll tell you the story (not much of a story).

    During middle school, I could have sworn that I was gay. I knew 100%, despite me not believing it, that I was gay. I even liked a guy for at least half a year.

    Now that I'm in high school, that has completely subsided. I like girls now, like a "normal" guy "should". But this has left me really confused.

    What's more, I'm 100% certain that I'm not bisexual. I haven't liked a guy or anything of the sort for over 3 years. I find that kind of stuff disgusting now (no offense to gays, it's just I personally do).

    All reasonable knowledge that I have acquired in my short life tells me that homosexuality is something you're born with, and people don't have a choice in whether they're gay or not.

    But I have SWITCHED orientations :blink:, which doesn't make any sense because that means I'm... not born with it? Did I subconsciously will myself to be straight while initially being gay? :dunno:

    I can't begin to figure this out, and of course I've never asked a professional. Any thoughts? :anyone:

    :sf: :sf: :sf:
  2. issacweirdo

    issacweirdo Active Member

    If I also remember correctly, being "born" gay is only a theory. Which also means it can be disproved :D I went through the same thing also. At first I thought I was straight; then I thought I was gay; then I thought I was bisexual; then I thought I was gay; finally, up to this point I think I'm straight, chronicle order. There's nothing bad with how you are now; it's just simply who you are. It is also possible you were suggestive towards outside contact, mainly the media. The media use to mainly portray an image to the environment that "gay" is bad and that "straight" is good. It is possible that may have affected your sexual orientation through "subliminal messaging". You might want to research that term; it makes sense and can offer solutions to oneself after knowing what it means and how it involves you personally.

    Sorry for the annoyance, but what does "SF" mean? Does that mean the "Suicide Forum" out of curiousity?

    I'm also not a professional, but I have read lots of books in my lifetime :D
  3. hellwithhugewounds

    hellwithhugewounds Well-Known Member

    yeah, it means suicide forum. thanks for ur answer, didn't know other people went through the same thing, at least not frequently. :biggrin:
  4. issacweirdo

    issacweirdo Active Member

    lol, I don't think lots of people go through the thing we have. At least it's still a percentage of the world population though, right?
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Here's an explanation for your sexual orientation switch that you might like. When you were young, before you went through pubery, you liked other guys, because your body didn't have much testosterone in it. When you went through puberty in high school, your body started producing testosterone and you started liking girls. It's a reasonable explanation I think.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm probably straight but I don't know. There's a lot of gray area, but I don't know if I'd call myself bisexual. I'd never date a guy. I agree with the 2nd poster I think a lot of people get/are confused about their orientation, especially a lot of people here.
    I think it's helpful just to avoid a label and do whatever comes natural. I'm not straight, bi, or gay, I'm just me :D
  7. Smokey

    Smokey Member

    Is this true? Just wondering because years ago I knew 2 gay guys that were ALOT more 'manly' than the supposedly straight me.

    The born gay theory is just ONE theory. Is there not an other theory that says you your sexual orientation changes throughout your life time? I thought i read that anyway...
  8. Aeterna

    Aeterna Account Closed

    Perhaps you're making a false dichotomy here? I believe that some people are predetermined by genetics to be homosexual, while others become that way by choice. So, you may be right in that some people don't have a choice in whether they're gay or not, but you may also be wrong, because some people do have a choice in whether they're gay or not.)

    I like this quote: "Sexual orientation probably is not determined by any one factor but by a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences." (It's from the AAP, but I found it on Wikipedia. Good enough.)

    Another thing to consider: There's something called the Kinsey Scale, which basically has varying degrees of sexuality. It might be that you're simply a one on that scale, and so far, only one guy has really "done it for you", so to say. (Also something to note: The Klein Grid, which improved on the Kinsey Scale, recognized changes in sexuality over time. Perhaps your sexuality has, in fact, changed? I figure if scientists can allow for it, there might be some merit too the idea.)

    And finally, you might also have just been curious. You may have liked the guy simply because of your natural curiosity, and not out of any real sexual attraction. Now that your curiosity has been satisfied, or lost, you're no longer feeling attraction?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2008
  9. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I don't believe we're born gay. I think we just have a preference as time goes on and i think it's perfectly natural and normal to start off in life with one preference and change after a few years.
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