Just what I need....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Jen23, Mar 27, 2009.

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  1. Jen23

    Jen23 Well-Known Member

    My doctor had the bright idea of confronting everything that's been causing me problems lately. He even went as far as suggesting i sit down with my ex and tell him everything i ever wanted to say then put a line under it all. In theory, it sounds like a good idea but just thinking about doing that has caused me to have constant panic attacks etc. But apparently I need to put an end to each problem. I have a feeling this is all going to mess me up really bad, just when things were looking up. Anyway, just thought I should let everyone know that I'm going to be a total mess for the next while and I hate asking for help, but I would really appreciate some support if anyone has any spare? Thanks.
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I've got a lot to spare and so do many others here. I think you should stick to what's been working for you. You said that things were going really well, then panic set in when the doc said you should confront and finalize each item. Maybe you should discuss with the doc again and tell him/her about how you feel and how well things have been going without the confrontation with your ex. Hope I was of some help.
     
  3. Jen23

    Jen23 Well-Known Member

    It's mainly just the situation with my ex that's been the biggest problem. With everything else, I've found ways to get over them. Things with my ex ended unexpectedly and nothing was ever dealt with. It keeps being dragged up by other people starting shit and making the whole situation worse. I'd be fine about the whole break up if it weren't for that. I did try telling my doctor that I'd rather try and ignore the whole thing in my own way but he says I'll never move on if I don't get closure. I personally think I'd do a whole lot better if I just carried on ignoring it. Every other part of my life is moving on and getting better apart from that one thing. I don't think I'd be able to talk it out with my ex even if I wanted to. So far it's just the idea of it that's screwing me up.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Try writing a letter to your ex each day for a while and when your done, burn them and watch them go up in smoke..Closure takes time..I went a whole year before I finally got over my ex..It took me to get to the anger stage before that happened and then I was able to see that she didn't matter anymore..
     
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi Jen, I think Josephs idea about the letters is a good one. I don't think you need to actually sit down with your ex. It gives you more time to work it all out. Take it day by day and you will find closure to it. If the rest of your life seems to be improving then thats progress. You don't have to push things too hard. Best wishes, Simon.:smile:
     
  6. Jen23

    Jen23 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your replies :smile: I decided not to listen to my doctor anyway. Instead I've been doing double shifts at work and keeping myself busy. I will try writing letters and see how that goes. It's definitely better than my doctor's idea. Thanks x
     
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