Just When I Think All Is Well... :((

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Frances M, Sep 27, 2016.

  1. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I just feel so sad today. Everything was going so well the last month. I really thought things were changing. As I type this we're into 3 hours since he walked away from me and locked himself into the bedroom ignoring me. I just don't understand that adolescent behaviour from a 28-year old man. I really don't.

    I know him so well. When he's sick, when he's lacking sleep, when something in his "work" isn't going well...he's moody. I KNOW HIM. Two days ago, he had a disagreement with a guy whose band biography he is writing and suddenly he's "not into" the biography anymore (work). He has tonsilitis and swollen gums his wisdom teeth being removed Friday so he's in pain and very nervous (sick), and last night our dog had digestive problems and he was up until 7am taking her back and forth outside (lack of sleep)...so suddenly the last two days, he's overly-critical, argumentative, accusing and impatient with me.

    "What's wrong with you? The last two days you've been negative and starting arguments"...I cried when he said that. The last few days I've been doing everything I can to be agreeable and to take care of him. I even drove to the market to get fresh veggies so that I can make him juice twice a day for his throat. I've been taking care of all the pets by myself, ignoring his angry moods and making him dinners...I'm so hurt.

    So what does he do? I cry, he walks away and I haven't seen him in 3 hours now.

    I'm a pathetic idiot to all those who previously told me to get away from his abusive ass right? Why do I love him? Fark. I just sent him a text asking him to move over to his office so I could go to bed soon. We have doctor's appointments tomorrow and I said I'm still going and would be happy if he accompanied me, I'd be in the car at 10am waiting. (usually he ignores me all night when something like this happens).

    I guess it's hitting me harder today because we've had a month of a normal happy relationship and I don't understand what I did wrong this time except that I cried and I didn't let him walk all over me.

    I'm more of an idiot because I opened a bottle of wine. I felt the need for calm and comfort. I hate myself for letting him get to me so much that I am drinking right now.

    Thanks for listening. Any bets on a fool who will forgive with one nice word from him?
     
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Frances I am so sorry things seem to be going backwards for you. It does sound like he is behaving rather like a child. I certainly hope he has come out of his room by now. But don't blame yourself for his actions. He is the only one responsible for them. And as to not wanting to let go even if he is being a jerk. Sounds pretty normal to me. Love really is blind. And maybe it should be. Because if we saw all of each others faults we probably never would love. Sending hugs your way and wishing you a better tomorrow.
     
    Frances M likes this.
  3. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    THANK YOU!!! Your post made me feel pretty good. In fact yes, he "came out of his room" - sounds like a damn child...anyway, around 9pm and apologized, said that when I burst into tears, he felt shame and ran away from it. I kind of already knew that, but I waited him out instead of approaching him first this time. It's nice that he finally opened up to me but 6 hours was too long to ignore me, simply because he didn't know how to react. I'm still hurt though, I wonder if he'll always be this way and how I can get used to it without falling to pieces.
     
  4. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    THANK YOU!!! Your post made me feel pretty good. In fact yes, he "came out of his room" - sounds like a damn child...anyway, around 9pm and apologized, said that when I burst into tears, he felt shame and ran away from it. I kind of already knew that, but I waited him out instead of approaching him first this time. It's nice that he finally opened up to me but 6 hours was too long to ignore me, simply because he didn't know how to react. I'm still hurt though, I wonder if he'll always be this way and how I can get used to it without falling to pieces.
     
    SillyOldBear likes this.