Just when I thought I was sorting myself out

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sgm72, Sep 1, 2012.

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  1. Sgm72

    Sgm72 Member

    Just when I thought I was picking myself back up and getting some respect back I have just had another hammer blow every time I get put on my back Ive got back up but how long do I continue to take the punishment,it's 4am in the uk and I've started to write letters to my family and eventually the hardest letter of all to my 8 year old daughter I'll get to see her tomorrow this will be my last time I'll see her ,don't know If it will work but my choice <edit moderator total eclipse methods> I've found a perfect beauty spot for my final place
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 2, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think you know hun your daughter will always wonder why you didn't stay here for her. Do not let her live rest of her life in pain missing you hun hugs
     
  3. Sgm72

    Sgm72 Member

    I've wrote out the letters there safely hidden ,but I can't face writing the letter to my daughter,she's 8 and I've not seen her for a few weeks now ,I should get to see her every Sunday but her mum is playing stupid games so I've not seen her much recently,I've tried to think why I feel the way I do and I can't stop the way I feel at the moment,I basically have nothing ,low paid job,soon to be made homeless tried to get assistance but I'm a 40 yr old single male and I don't meet any criteriera so come mid October I'm out on my arse,they way I carry on I'm surprised ive lasted this long,money ran out 2 weeks ago,so I've another 2 weeks before I can buy food,I can carry on and on for the reasons why I want to leave and only a hand full of reasons to stay around,everything is in the letters,but the only thing scaring me now his which way to go Im actually scared that i just can't decide,and that's why I've been here these last couple of weeks
     
  4. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Hi. I have a story that sounds a bit the same. I know how the Uk family courts don't work and how some mothers can get away with not letting the child see the father... But this is how it is. Its been 6+ years now for me but I know that by me killing myself i'd have made my children worse. I know it would mess them up.

    I would starve and beg if needed to try to build them a future. Your seeing them, maybe not how you would like... But you are. Keep it that way. Fight. One day your daughter will be old enough to pick her own path... Make sure your part of that path. Don't give up on your daughter. If you want to talk pm me.
     
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