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Just when I wish I was, I am no longer suicidal

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by KryptonianBlood, Dec 7, 2012.

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  1. KryptonianBlood

    KryptonianBlood New Member

    I am at a point in my life in which I sometimes wish I was still suicidal. My life literally could not got any worse at this point, yet I just want to live.

    Isn't it strange that when our chance to live is taken away from us, that is when we want to continue with life all the more?

    The justice system and our laws here in America our a joke. It's so easy for an innocent guy to get tangled up and wind up facing the possibility of a life in prison, when he did nothing wrong.

    But I just keep going, keep living, but I cannot REALLY live. Why bother tearing up my final exams when I may not get to even finish out the year?

    How can you meet new friends or find a nice girlfriend when you know you could be spending a life alone in a cell far far away, being punished for...for what? For something you never did in the first place.

    The more I think about just how serious the charges against me are, and just how little proof I have to show my innocence, the more I really want to live.
    I really want to finish school.
    I really wanna meet that perfect girl and start a family.
    I want to...to LIVE.
    But that choice is not mine. Thats in the hand of 12 random people who don't know, who have no idea what a incredibley good guy I am.

    these people don't know how hard ive fought for what is morally right, even when it hurts me.
    If I tell them about me, what a good person I am, I'll come off as too good, too sincere, too much of a perfect gentleman, and they will think its fake. I've been too good for my own good.

    So for all of you, wanting death so damn bad, STOP. You all have it so damn well. You may think everyone thinks your a loser. You may be broke and about to lose your home. You may have just lost the love of your damn life. But, just wait, just wait till someone tries and force life away from you, because thats when you really see how wonderful it is. How amazing it is. Thats when you realize you would be happy living in a small roachinfested apartment while working 60 hours a week for minimum wage. Why? Because your living. Your out there living your life.

    I wish I was still the suicodal kid I once was, because if I was I wouldnt be dealing with the immense stress, fear, sadness, and hoplessness of my current situation. (oh and avoiding being th major headline on the local news would have been nice too. hard to even watch the news after what those anchors said about me.)
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What ever it is you have been charged with i hope if you are indeed innocent the jury find you that way .

    It is like you say when our lives our about to be taken from us that is when we struggle the most sometimes to hold on to it.

    You can only state your innocents and i hope that you have the supports you need in place to fight the charges and to deal with whatever outcome happens.
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I am sorry to hear of your predicament Krypto - really, it must be so horrid for you, the unfairness of it all. What proof do your accusers have to have put you where you now are? What do they say to you when you ask them "Why won't you accept my side of the story when I'm the one with the truth?"

    I do hope and pray that true justice will triumph for you Krypt.

    And thank you for the rest of your message as well. I know the truth of it honey :)
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