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Just when you feel you can't take anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Atompilz, Mar 6, 2011.

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  1. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    I just found out my best friend died last night, only 37. Her parents found her this morning in bed cold, looked as though had gone in her sleep. They are doing an autopsy as we don't know if it was suicide or not. She had a brain aneurism 9 years ago, had epilepsy and ehlers danlos and had talked about suicide for over a year now. We were eachothers 'sponser' friend and whenever one had those thoughts we would talk it through and if all else failed we promised to only go together if we go. I keep thinking if it was suicide why didn't she call me? I have hardly anyone and she was the one person who rang me lots even after she had to go back home, I just can't believe she is gone. I keep hoping it was another aneurism and she would have not known anything about it, just gone to sleep.

    I already felt weak and couldn't cope, it is just one thing after another and now I have lost such a wonderful person. Why is it the nice ones who go not the horrible people? It won't sink in :(
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry for your loss it could have very well been an aneurysm I hope you have some support in place to help you cope .
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    my best friend died of a stroke.
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    It could have been a medical issue. Either way, it's a huge shock to lose your best friend, especially to lose them so suddenly.

    If she could give you support I bet she would. I think that she would want you to be happy.

    I'm sorry that you lost your friend.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm really sorry for your loss. hugs.
  6. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Oh no, I'm so sorry you have lost your friend. Can you spend some time with her family to share your grief with? :hug:
  7. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    Thank you everyone. The autopsy is today so we will find out. Her family are going to have her cremated then bring her here to scatter in her favourite place, that was her wish, so we will all have a memorial together. It just won't sink in, I keep thinking she will call like she always did. I had a text from a friend with the same name and my heart skipped a beat :(
    My world keeps getting smaller and smaller and more sad each time :(
  8. :hug: sorry to hear that.. Stay strong and help her fulfill whatever she has always wanted to do..
  9. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    So sorry must be really hard for you. She is at peace now.
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    In time okay Your friend would never have left you on purpose knowing you would be so sad, She would want you to keep fighting okay to stay well. Can you do something in memory of her. Plant a beautiful tree she loved and watch in grow I hope you reach out and get some therapy for you to help you cope okay hugs.
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry atom...I too hope you will get some grief therapy to help you through the loss of your dear friend..*hug*
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