Life fucks you over. I'm trying to put the pieces together here, but it just doesn't seem to add up. I started going out with a guy I met on a dating site. When we started seeing each other in person and he decided he really liked me, we both deleted our profiles in front of one another. He did seem pretty adamant about having sex, which made me sort of question his intentions. I felt a bit pressured, and I ended up doing it because I didn't want to screw things up. I wanted him to like me. Then I told him, however, that it was a bit too soon for me and that I'd rather hold off until he felt like he loved me. He said okay. Next day, out of nowhere, he tells me he loves me. I questioned the sincerity of that for a bit because it seemed like he said it a bit too quickly after I said I didn't want to have sex until he could say it. But he swore he meant it. Then he comes over today and kind of pressures me into it again like the second he walks in the door almost. And I felt like I couldn't really say no because I did say that I was fine with it as long as he was in love with me. Afterwards, he even talked about how he was getting his own place in October and wanted me to move in with him. Earlier in the day, he told me he had a doctors appointment at 9pm. I thought that was weird too cause what doctor is open that late? He insisted that the clinic he had to go to was open until 9:30. So we say goodbye and everything seems fine, and he's still being really affectionate and loving. I ask him to text me after his appointment and let me know how it went, and also to say goodnight. He says he will. 10 o'clock, no word. 11' o clock, still no word. Now it's 12 o'clock and I still haven't heard anything from him at all. I tried calling around 11, it rang once and went to voicemail. So now I'm really confused and thinking all sorts of shit. Did he use me for sex? Does he not like me anymore? Why did he delete his profile if he was using me and talk about wanting me to move in with him? Did he just fall asleep without texting me, and if so, how could he just forget like that after talking about how he never breaks his word? Did he ignore my call on purpose or did he not hear it, or was his phone off, reception shitty, etc.? Did something happen in general that caused him to not be able to text me? I'm so confused right now, I don't understand it at all. I guess tomorrow he'll either text me and tell me why I hadn't heard from him. Or he won't text me at all and then I'll know for sure that either he doesn't like me anymore or I was used and played. And also, if he doesn't give me a good reason tomorrow, I'm definitely just going to get heroin and fuckin' shoot up. Fuck it.