You're actually giving me some motivation to actually try to go on this trip! Maybe it could remind me that there are still so many things to do. You're making me appreciate you again. Your advice about sticking with it when it gets tough really resonates with me. This is something I have always believed and it's why even though I've been depressed for many years, I still got into a good college and everything because I just kept going. I wasn't necessarily ever happy but I kept going. Yeah, I know she doesn't understand..she's started to understand more because I started to be more graphic as in describing depression more thoroughly and such and trying to explain how my mind works. I told her we should fight through it like just yell at each other about everything we're mad about, and so we were texting all day yesterday. It did really help and I think we'll have some more little arguments until it all gets sorted out but it makes me feel closer to her already. Which I guess gives me more reason to keep trying.