Just wish I didn't have to do it..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by stuckinchicago6, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Does anybody ever wish they wouldn't wake up? Or just wish something would kill them fast? There is too much pressure to conform. Today, the professor even kept me after class to tell me about how I am not engaged. Maybe she noticed that I go to the restroom every five minutes to cry and I come back with red eyes... I just don't see the point. Does everybody notice that I'm a freak???? I am just through and I am far too miserable. I could never do it myself, but sometimes I find myself wishing I could just fade away or that I could just be alone in my house. Sometimes I just wish that somebody would come to SAVE ME!! A handsome man...
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    My god yes I do lol :p. Strange thing is though I'm more of an 'instant death' person. Not a slowly fall asleep and die person. That probly makes no sense but oh well lol. I think it has something to do with the fact that I think there is something on 'the other side'. So I know there's a definate line between what we are living in now and what we move on to. But either way. If it's not an extremely painful way I 'would be fine with it'. I'm a very odd person so it can be hard to explain how I think XD.
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I wish that would happen all the time. You know I have a nightmare and fall out of my bed, and break my neck... or an aneurysm. I wish there would be a gas leak and an explosion. I wish for so much.

    I wish a pretty lady would save me. :cool: Maybe I would like to save a pretty lady as well. People tell me I am cute :p

    :hugtackles: Feel better hun, as always you can PM me.
  4. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    every night when I finally feel tired enough to close my eyes for a couple of hours-- I hope that I will never open them again.
    every night after getting less than 2 hours of sleep and having tormenting nightmares- tossing and turning, I wake up and feel bad for being a waste of oxygen.

    It's shitty, I know.
  5. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Maybe we will all get lucky and the world will really end in 2012. I just hate the place I am in now. It is a place soooo dark. It seems like the only time the sun peaks out is to tease me and torment me more. Lately, I am only happy when I am alone without the disappointment of people. Sometimes, I love to fantasize about how it would be if they found me dead not really from a suicide, but from something sudden.

    I have just been hurt way too many times these past two years. The fact that my own father can hurt me as much as he did gives me very little hope for humanity. What could some strange guy do to hurt me if my own dad could do that much pain??? Makes me feel like I am better off being alone and I was for the few years that I stayed without a BF and only focused on school, not caring about any social life. Heartbreak and abandonment hurts more than anything. It makes my aimless existence of not knowing what I am going to do HURT even more!!! The weird thing is that I used to be a really optimistic person at one point. Now, the glass isn't even half way empty with me, it is laced with poison too!! F being half way full!!!!
  6. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I'm silently wishing for the world to end in 2012 too lol :laugh:. The crap thing is though that I would've graduated only like a few weeks before :(. The insanity if the world was ending then would actually be amusing. Lol? Ways that make it look like I didn't kill myself are always 'good'(I'm sounding weird now...lol). Like if someone shot me or ran over me in a car. Regular stuff like that I guess? :S

    I think I used to be an optimistic person. But I can't really remember that time. lol o_O
  7. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    At least we will all have a degree when we pass through those pearly gates to show God if the world ends. Honestly, I think about that too. The fact that I haven't had any real fun a majority of the time. I have had good times, but most of my time is spent doing some pretty lame stuff like studying :/
  8. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Yea...I don't really bother studying. I used to do alright but my memory has gotten worse from previously. I just don't see the point in much at all anymore. I'm getting C's at the moment so atleast I'm passing. But my mum is like "We(meaning her and dad) both know you can do better. Maybe you shouldn't be spending so much time on WoW...". Truth be told, I don't spend an awful lot of time on WoW(compared to a while back), it's usually spent here browsing the forums, or checking other forums(stuff to do with my sexuality) not on WoW. True I might have wow going but it's minimized incase mum or something walks in and I just 'X' SF and click WoW. lol XD.
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :yay: <---- me if the 2012 apocalypse comes.

    :hug: I am sorry to hear your father hurt. I do not think that we should base our experiences with opposite genders entirely on our parents. My mom neglected, me in favor of my sisters, who would obviously be more successful.

    I try to remember what times were like before I felt lonely. I used to be just happy on my own as well. Though I was never an optimistic person. Optimism always seemed like it set me up for disappointment.

    :hug: I know we can get back to being content on our own hun.