just woke up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by necrodude, Sep 6, 2009.

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  1. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    ive wasted my life. my mates have good memories of school leaving. but me i dont. school made me suicidal. at least secondary/high school did. that was when the bullying got too much. when my home life was just me alone in my room. im remembering those days and looking at myself know i realize that i should never have let the bullies win. while it makes for an encouraging quote, it means its too late for me.
     
  2. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Unfortunately it is too late to do anything about those bullies. But now you know how to react if you are put in the same situation.
     
  3. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    it maybe to late to do anything about the past .. because thats over .
    there are things you can do IN THE NOW, to help yourself. its never to late to help yourself. you simply have to have the desire to do so.
     
  4. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    Oh, my soul-twin :)
     
  5. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    When I try to remember my school days it is nothing there. I know I was bullied a lot but but every details are gone. Like having a big black hole where memories should be.
     
  6. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    Nah, perhaps it is better that way.
     
  7. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    its not better for me. i was always "the freak"
     
  8. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i went through the samething back then.
    its what caused me to hate ppl when i got out of school. today, i really dont care what ppl think about me. i have learned to move on. it took some time but i did.
    if we raise the bar on what holds us back ... we have a better chance of moving forward.
    i went through the same thoughts that you are. i went back to classmates.com and saw all the kids i went to school with .. married etc. it wasnt easy at first to see so many of them become successful. me, i ended up an addict, alkie attempted suicide 3 times blah blah blah.

    i could turn against myself and wallow in the fact that im not like them. the thing is, IM NOT THEM. several times in my life things got hard for me and yes i damn near gave in. but for all the crap that i went through as a kid, the self inflicted shit, and stuipd mistakes i have made ,.. 3 times in 49 years isnt to bad. it means that i fought a hell of alot more than i gave in.
    im not married, had one girlfriend in my life. does that mean that im a failure ?
    hell no. it means that im my own person. you learn to adapt to what is.
    if you want to give up well .... i know there are many things out there for me to see and do yet. i intend to acclompish some of them.
    im not a bad person, neither are you. funny thing is, all those ppl that bullied you more than likely have it harder than you do.
    somethings never change.
    i have had comfort and peace. i wonder if they have ?
     
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