Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Nevermore, Feb 26, 2007.

  1. Nevermore

    Nevermore Active Member

    What justifies running away? What justifies cutting yourself? What justifies ending your life?

    Living in poverty? I don't have any money for food so I have been relying on the generosity of others. (which bothers me to no end) My clothing has holes in it and my shoes barely stay together.
    Social Inadequacies? I have very few people I can consider friends and, most of the time, I don't think they enjoy being with me. I have no girlfriend and I beat myself up (literally and figuratively) if I think about past relationships.
    Academic downfall? My grades are slipping below passing. I am in college and I am paying what little money I have on these mistakes.
    Mental Instability? I am very depressed and contemplate the means of which I can end my life every day. I have become much more moody and I can not sit still with my thoughts. I have an undying urge to hurt myself, but I can not justify why.

    I haven't cut in 3 months. I want to so badly, and the only thing that is stopping me (aside from throwing out my razor) is that I don't want people to see the scars. I rock climb and I need to wear short sleeve shirts and shorts whenever possible. I crave my destruction.
    I want to run away. I have planned everything out to the minute, but I just can't do it. Aside from it being illegal, I would be leaving all my debts and problems with my remaining family and "friends"
    Thus why committing suicide is difficult for me as well. I still want to try...I dont know. Fuck this im so fucking stupid stop reading my god damn posts.