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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by darklogic, Jul 18, 2008.

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  1. darklogic

    darklogic Active Member

    I'm at a tipping point.

    If I decided to go ahead and buy this weapon there will be no way that I won't use it to blow my head off. If I have it I WILL use it. Of this I have absolutely no doubt. The only thing that's stopped me from killing myself lately is my knowledge that most methods of suicide are woefully ineffective.

    But a gun would truely be a means to an end...

    Don't bother asking me why. I'm sure there are some old threads of mine you could go back and read because I won't bother to explain it again. It's more or less the same story as everyone else here. Life for me is painful and meaningless. Every day is an agonizing struggle and so on and so forth...

    Outwardly, I'm doing quite well in most respects actually. I have a great job now, doing good work and working with nice people to help the community recover from this flood we had. I'm back in school and making good grades. I find my studies stimulating for the most part. I have some wonderful friends and my relationship with my family has improved somewhat.

    Despite this I want to die. My depression makes me so tired. I can't move. I get resentful that I have to do anything. I find myself hating everything and everyone I have to deal with. I'm just fucking tired. I'm tired and I can't sleep at night so I'm looking at used gun adds. One way or another I want this to end so I can get some rest.

    Also, fuck you and your pills. I can't take em because I messed up my liver. And FUCK therapy.
  2. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    Im also tempted to 'get the gun' once i get it it will peace will be just one click away. if i had it when i hit an emotional low i would have access to it in the heat of the moment and be able to act in emotion. please be sure u really want to die before u get it. it seems that buying the gun would be the same as pulling the trigger.

    please try to hang on i hope there is some interest or something for you to find meaning in. i know this plea seams cliched and pointless and uniformed but anyways sorry u hurt so much
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good Morning Dark Logic,
    I am glad to hear you have so many positive things in your life. Why can't you focus on them? I think you buying a gun is the wrong way to look at things. I know all about the temptation of using it. I had to give my pistol to my brother. I won't go into detail because I don't want to break the rules. I'm sure you can use your imagination.
    I see you are dead set against a therapist. Have you had a bad experience with one? You know there are alot of people who would give their eye teeth to have a life with so many positives going for them. I hope you will reconsider. Death is permanent, no backing out. If you insist on commiting then you need to examine all the pro's and con's of what you are doing.
    You say you are getting along with your family. Do you know how devistated they will be if you do something. That pain will be with them for as long as they are alive. So again I ask won't you reconsider. Your hard work is going to pay off soon. Why don't you stick around and see what happens!!:chopper:!!
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