I'm disabled, mentally(emotionally) and physically. I have a child I had at 17. I just realized that a week ago I was in the hospital three days (I thought it was 12 hours, suicide attempt) and I didn't think about my child once. I'm a terrible person. We have no education in this state and poorly educated under funded mental health and I'm on state health insurance and the only mental health hospital in town is full. They made an "emergency" appointment to get my meds checked 8 days after I stopped my own heart and she was no help and I know that talking about it to my 14 year old or my boyfriend stresses them out and then I feel guilty for stressing them out but I hate that they care because I want to be done. I'm sick, I'm always sick, I've been sick since a baby, I'm tired and I want to go home.