Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Jun 8, 2012.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you so very much for your false caring. It has made me feel even more special at this lovely time in my life. Poof! People disappear. Well, pog mo shoin. Its apparent the reasons for "friendship" were so you could get info out of me that would benefit you. No calls, nothing. You self absorbed, pompous asshole. If this is how you treat everyone, good luck 'cause you are going to need it.

    Why bother? Ultimately why do I bother? Its so very difficult for anyone to understand this pain, its takes over your whole body.

    I really don't know what to do. But hey - who gives a shit? And thats okay, I'm reaping what I've sowed myself. Karma.

    Fabulous. :cry:
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    hey this happens, people will fail us one way or the other. it doesn't mean you are reaping what you sowed. there is nothing wrong you did.
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Mo - Sometimes I feel lost or ignored, too. Trials like this show who are true friends, who are worthy of your attention.I can't claim to know your exact pain, all losses are different. And I remember too well the agony of watching others, happy couples and inside screaming "That should be me" and searching for the reason of the injustice, of being cheated, and all I had to fall back on myself, something I had not done that I should have, something I did or caused to be done, and this was the cruelest punishment that could be levied against me.

    Wanting to join her? Oh, I know that one, came close, a millisecond. Right now, I'm grappling with the people who came to visit me on the psych ward. Who swore during the family conference that they would keep watch on me and support me. No calls, no emails, no FaceBook messages after about the first month. I called my brother-in-law Wednesday (his day off) but he had to work a double shift the next day, so he would contact me Friday (today). No call, email, etc.Same with the others.

    Sorry to dump my shit in your thread, but the feelings of abandonment are normal during the grieving, and usually well earned. Blaming oneself is also normal, and I think, at least in my case, it was an attempt to affix blame somewhere. Someone or something took her from me.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Clearly, I have no solutions for those who promise to be there and are not...going through that my self and do not know how to resolve the situation...I will not high jack your thread, but I have many examples and I am still enraged...if you ever find a solution please let me know...mine is a voodoo doll right now, so I am far away from anything helpful
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks to you both and I am sorry you both are feeling similarly and have the same types of experiences.

    I like the voodoo doll, it make me laugh actually, which is good for me :) I have called this person out on their shit previously, they apologized and acknowledged their self absorbed nature and said would be there for me during all of this. At the same time, I know people have their own trials and issues and stuff in their own lives that they, too, are trying to deal with. But sometimes a "hello" text would be nice, you know? Or a returned email or something.

    And the best thing would be to recognize that these are their faults/issues not mine. Unfortunately my brain isn't wired that way so I feel as if its something I've done or that its just "me".

    I wrote a letter once to someone who raped me and gave it them. I doubt they ever read it and now I wonder why I wasted my time on doing that? Again, thinking it was something with me probably.

    Anyhow, voodoo dolls..... I may just give it a go :)

  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    No expectations, no disappointments. But as one already said, that's life and no matter where you go, you will always run into someone out only for their own gain. Sad but true, especially in today's World.
    I do not really believe in karma, however. I have always found it difficult to believe in any higher power (thus me being an atheist) coming to dump a truckload of misfortune on your enemies and simply believe that as long as you accept that in life, you will get messed over from time to time and take it, using the experience to enrich your life down the line, then you eventually come out a stronger person in the end.
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Oh don't get me started on those people who leave us in our grief and hurt us even more if that's possible..

    I'm a big "Karma' fan Mo..
    I have a list with GPS data for the Karma Fairy..

    doesn't help us in the moment though when you need those peoples support.
    At least you have us!! We have each other! :console: :hug:
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    :lol!: Send 'em my way please once they visit you!
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Ok!! Will do!! :lol!: :thumbup: