I dont know what else to do anymore. It feels like no matter what I do I am wrong. I keep trying and trying and all I want is to feel happy. I am ok for a few days and then I always end up back in the same place alone and crying. I am tired of crying. I am to the point where I am just so tired of everything. Its hard to explain but its not that I want to kill myself exactly. I cant picture myself really doing it. I just dont want to be alive anymore. Its not that I want to die, I just want to cease to exist. I dont want to keep waking up every morning and keep doing this just to end up alone and crying. I guess I just dont know how to keep trying anymore and I really dont think I want to. I guess I am kind of rambling, but it has been another really sad disappointing day and Im feeling so broken right now.