I don’t know how much information about myself I’m allowed to give out. I came on this site because I thought it might help, I thought it might help take the pain away. I was hopping that maybe somebody could give me new ideas about how to stop the pain. Instead I’m being ripped apart for sharing something that happened in my life. Something, to this day, I am still trying to understand. I am all by myself trying to help myself. I’m going to the doctor, I’m taking every fucking pill they give me, I’m talking to a therapist, I’m eating well. I’m the one that called 911 the night I took those pills. I am terrified that I will end my life, because that is not how I want to go. It hurts too many people. I care so much about everyone around me. I’m just running out of ideas here. I feel like throwing up right now. I feel so much negative energy. I wrote a post to people who want to end their lives. I wanted to offer help and support to those people. Instead I was surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves’ bighting at my flesh. I went to my boyfriend’s office today. Found some more cocaine in a little tin under his desk. How do you deal with somebody that is using. I am at my breaking point. I don’t know where I can go or how I can talk to anymore. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to debate, I want’ to know how to make things better. I want to help other people that have been where I am. So this is going to be my last post, I am even more sad that this didn’t work out cause now I really don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. My boyfriend killed him self when we were in highshool. He hurt so many people including myself. I swore I would never hurt anybody the way he hurt me. I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. So now I’m outta ideas. This can’t be how I’m supposed to die. For some reson thought this site was called-----A support for people in crisis----- wrong again I guess I need a cigarette now.