keep responses realistic please

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by steveoh, Jan 25, 2011.

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  1. steveoh

    steveoh Active Member

    when you respond to people you should be relating to the pain and ways you help it, not saying the obvious shit like, o we want you to live, or you need to get help, yea and the sky is blue, it just makes the forums pointless, we hear that everyday in real life, i just feel that when reading responses that point out the obvious, automatic negative thoughts come to your head saying, "no shit"
  2. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    It's not like that for everyone though. Maybe other members enjoy being told that. I wouldn't count it as pointless shit, but someone trying hard to offer advice to another person. x
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2011
  3. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Most people who respond are feeling pretty shit themselves and we all do what we can.
  4. steveoh

    steveoh Active Member

    i agree with what everyone says, im just trying to get out a little point that was on my head
  5. BornAgain

    BornAgain Well-Known Member

    If I had heard something nice like the words you believe don't help, I would have definitely not tried it, unfortunately I had never come to the website before that. :)
  6. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    i think it's a balance. you make a good point. it's more than people just saying 'get professional help', it must be delivered with empathy.
  7. Ardo85

    Ardo85 Active Member

    I know what you mean to some extent. The people are trying to help, but the obvious is often times stated and not really all that helpful. A key example of this happened when over a period of time I called some of those suicide hotlines. Every single time the person just told me to get help, get on medication, and get therapy. It just felt so impersonal, what they told to everyone that calls. If you could actually discuss your problems and receive some empathy it would actually be better...but for that you have to pay someone.
  8. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    That has pretty much just taken the words out of my mouth. It isn't always easy to respond to someone well you feel crappy yourself and you do your best. To hear comments like that could prevent a lot of responses that just might help.
  9. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I get what the first comment is about. Sometimes people do benefit from being told that they are worrying about nothing, that in perspective there problems although to them are massive in the grand scheme of things are fixable and not that bad. However, on this would probably come across on here as being heartless and not caring, not supportive etc. You can only really have the tough love approach when you are face to face with someone.

    I think as most people on here don't know each other personally and through a computer it is sometimes hard to know what to say, especially if you are having a shit time of it yourself. All we can really do is offer support and say yeh, I empathise etc, offer basic support as at the end of the day most of us are not mental health professionals, doctors and the like. Where as it's good to have this for support I think sometimes we have to be really careful in what we say as it may be the wrong thing.

    Personally, I find it a good distraction when I am feeling bad. I write when I am feeling bad to try and combat the urges. In the past I was warned about sites like these from health professionals. I've only had one bad experience so far in 3.5 years I have been a member on here. But I am aware that sometimes peoples responses may not be as supportive as I wish them to be and I don't take it to heart. But then everyone is not like that so we have to be careful in what we say etc

  10. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Consider that a lot of times people who come here might be in great emotional distress and even a response that isn't "realistic" can help them in that moment...
  11. Opheliac

    Opheliac New Member

    I agree with the OP. Hearing about how "life will get better", etc. is just more lip service, and, while perhaps well-meaning, it isn't under any circumstances helpful. At least not from my perspective--if anything, it seems like the most generic piece of advice, given without even a thought as to what the poster's situation or state of mind if I were to receive a response of that nature, I would feel even more alone and ignored, knowing that the world at large sums up my sorrows as something unworthy of even a half-heartedly crafted response, and is just writing me off with "yeah, it'll get better, don't do it, etc."
  12. redhairgirl

    redhairgirl Member

    I ditto this.
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