Keeping it all inside

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by WhyMeWhy, Dec 28, 2007.

  1. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    Let it all out? NEVER This applies to me only, btw. Keep it all inside.... bottle it up. Hide it from the world. It's dangerous I know, but so am I. So I hide it all. My "front" is well tolerated by others and works for me. I don't want to hurt others. When they see me hurting, they hurt for me. My problems only add to others' problems-sometimes makin everything worse. I don't want to make others' lives any worse than they already are. I refuse! No matter the personal consequences, I keep it all hidden. Very well, might I add.... it's the only thing I know. Hide. Hide your true feelings from freinds/family so as not to burden them. I will not drag anyone down w/ me. So I suffer in silence, my "happiness" is fake, no one wants to be around a depressed, negative person. No one wants to see that. So no one will see it.

    1.Nothing wrong w/ me
    2.Nothing wrong w/ me
    3.Nothing wrong w/ me
    4.Nothing wrong w/ me

    1.Somethin's got to give
    2.Somethin's got to give
    3.Somethin's got to give

    NOW
     
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :arms: I know how it is, send me a PM if you ever want to chat.
     
  3. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    It must be tiring to keep it all inside. I find it really difficult to open up to people and I keep alot inside as well but sometimes for me it gets too much and I feel like I'm about to explode.

    I hope you can find it in you to slowly let it out. Hopefully, we can do this together.
     
  4. ithuriel

    ithuriel Well-Known Member

    i managed to keep my depression hidden for years.
    then this xmas it was like the damn i had built burst.
    i do not think i can ever be the same person i was , all i know is i managed not to take the pills i had put in easy reach.
    i should throw them away but they are like a strange comfort blanket.
    tiny first steps away from the edge i suppose.
     
  5. sorrowstealer

    sorrowstealer Member

    Myself, for the past 12 years have kept all the pain, anger, and hate inside... bottled up. I'm waiting for the time when the "bottle" will burst. I myself will not be a burden to anyone.
     
  6. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    Suprised to see any replies to this thread, I myself have a suprise for all of you.... I've been "sober" for days.... but I'm about to shower/shave
    & make an attempt to get some narcotics..... you see, it's the isolation that's killing me. I'm trapped in a house all alone & unsafe.... it's the "drugs" that allow me to forget everything negative that plagues me & threatens to end this "life".... I drank down my breakfast today & there's still traces of it in my veins. I gotta sober up & go to an ER-quicklike. All I do anymore is listen to MM and wish not to exist. I leave this house lookin 4 trouble to start w/ me so I will have the excuse to kill someone. THAT would make me feel better, or atleast be a start. I belong in a facility..... most everyone I know does too.... but I just "escaped" a facility..... no one there can help me. Bein locked in w/out any freedom & living w/ other "crazy people" on a daily basis is quite bad for me. I even gave my phone # out to this drug addict hopin to make a freind but he's not calling & not the type you really want for a friend but I was desperate. I'm livin on my own here--isolation runs me into the ground and when I'm "sober" all I think is how to die, this pitiful existense must not continue..... there is no GOD or he'd never allow this level of suffering to be exsperienced. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?.

    "Haters call me bitch call me ****** call me whitey..
    But I am something that you'll never be...
    I'll be your scapegoat, I'll be your savior
    I am the better of 2 evils
    " :evil:

    "This isn't music
    & we're not a band
    We're 5 middle fingers
    on a motherfuckin hand" :eek:hmy:
     
  7. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    I keep it inside too, but i release it when I need a boost in doing something. Rage and fury can be good when you know how to make them useful.
     
  8. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    Indeed true. Many musicians are very good at what they do, when they create out of bad feelings they have. Unfortunately young impressionable minds can be corrupted in the process of exposing the negativity inside. I see why parents are sometimes "over-sheltering" their children.