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Keeping it in


Well-Known Member
But my thoughts are drowning in darkness right now. I keep trying to look at other things, listen to distract, talk to people or clean. My life is incredibly random right now. Manic or chaotic. Whatever i can to stop that long shadow from taking over.


woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
my instinct and learned behavior is to shut down. Block everything even job duties.... Out! But I feel the need to move forward. What if I do something different this time.

my sleep pattern is so erratic and that makes it worse.
Yes, do *something* different, that is a good instinct I think. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right? Just try to start small, it can help to build momentum that way.
Sleep is hard. Can you do something to help your sleep schedule?
Have you tried anything to help you sleep?

I have had insomnia most of my life. I have to pretty much take a cocktail of valerian root, melatonin, tryptophan, and assorted other herbs. I also take a muscle relaxant (also used as an anxiety medication; its dual use is related to a mind-body connection in which muscle relaxation triggers mental relaxation). Even then I have trouble sleeping. I find reading books before bed, helps. Currently reading a book about accepting death. For some reason, reading “The Worm at the Core”, helped me get to sleep easily, so Im trying the same thing with other similar books.

Electronics can also be a problem; its best to either avoid using electronics before sleep, or, at least, get yourself some blue blockers. The worse thing you can do is lay awake in bed with negative thoughts, then the bed becomes associated with that and makes matters worse. If I cannot sleep, I get up and do something else until I can. I avoid taking naps and will stay up until bedtime to stick with a regular schedule. Even if that means being up for 36 hours.

I know not sleeping sucks and if often only exacerbates depression and anxiety. I hope you find something that works for you and you can at least fix that.


✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Have you tried melatonin, that might help your sleep pattern.

Think back to when you were a kid, you were most likely in a routine to get up and go to school every day, you can get back there again, try talking to your doctor and take on their suggestions.

I hope you feel better soon. *hug 's


Well-Known Member
Sorry. Been really really in dark place. Spent plenty days crying. Have taken 90 to 2 hour lunches. Just need a lot of extra time to do stuff. and I’m losing days. I don’t know what day it is which is getting worrisome.

I was able to get 3 free telehealth appointments. Max number being allowed for Covid. No problem. It was nice to talk with someone.

Anxiety up, depression clearly and insomnia. I’m starting to get behind on laundry and getting lazy about washing my hair. I’m telling myself twice a month is fine. And that doing laundry twice a month is okay.

I’m just losing my drive. Various over the counter items never help me sleep. I do take allergy meds and even that does’t knock me out. I wake about 2-3 times a night.

Light exercise but i don’t have the energy for it. Living off grapes, crackers and cheese this week.

I don’t know. Whats wrong with me.

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