My fiancee of almost 5 years left me two weeks ago and the only reason she could give me is depression. I've been considering suicide but my sons 2nd birthday was yesterday and I don't want it too close to his birthday. Two nights ago I actually sat down to write letters to my children to try and explain what im planning and why. I broke down into tears and wasn't able to write them. Im still having the thoughts but am second guessing trying to explain it to my children. Im hanging on a fine line of hope right now and waiting for mutual friends to find out if the breakup is permanent... im just so lost hanging in the balance..