Kill me please.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Green.Triceratops, Apr 3, 2011.

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  1. Green.Triceratops

    Green.Triceratops Account Closed

    I feel different. I stop throughout my day, i slow down so much that i stop moving at all. And then i make myself move. What an idiot i must look like staring off, thinking of nothing.

    I dont stop because i'm physically unable to. I stop because my mind slows so much from this depression thats swallowed me whole in 4 days. I couldnt even fend off all the terrible things i've been thinking. I've got to try to keep the functional, loves life and is awesome part of myself.

    I feel like each day this depression just steals more from me, like i have no choice but to agree with self harm and suicidal thoughts. I dont want help though. In all honesty, i want to die, but not to kill myself. I feel trapped.
    I cant be helped because you have to want to get better....
  2. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    please don't do anything- keep talking to us
  3. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Please don't do anything. Talking might help you release a bit of what's hurting you so much and give you a new perspective on it, instead of it being one big overwhelming issue that seems impossible to overcome.
    No matter what, it is possible to overcome every aspect of depression. You might think you can't get better because you feel you don't want to get better. But feelings are dictated alot by what we think. The more you talk, the more you talk about the bad, aswell as the good parts of life, the more control you will have of your feelings and life.
    I think so atleast.. and I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it.
    Do you know what's causing you to feel so low? Has something happened in the last four days to you?
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I cant be helped because you have to want to get better..

    You can still be helped depression screws all your thoughts up with right meds and therapy depression can be treated successfully and you will have more energy and you will get that want to get better feeling back hugs
  5. Green.Triceratops

    Green.Triceratops Account Closed

    Not a thing happened to me in the last 4 days. Depressions always been a part of my life, its just prevailing right now. My sleep schedual did a 180 though. Hence why its 4am where i am and i'm not sleeping.

    I feel like dying is something i MUST do sooner rather than later, otherwise i'll just keep letting others down and fooling myself if i think things have a chance of getting better. It will hurt everyone i know though.... Because when i'm not suicidally depressed i'm actually a really awesome person lol.

    That felt good to laugh. Thanks.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You said it when you are not depressed you are an awsome person so you know depression can go away.
    You depression is winning right now but it will cycle and you will come out of it soon okay You need to talk get a hold of someone get in and get medication upped or changed and get your sleeping pattern back on track
    YOur right you will destroy alot of people if your leave and they then will have to deal with the pain with sadness you are feeling don't pass it on okay get help now so you can start feeling better
  7. Green.Triceratops

    Green.Triceratops Account Closed

    I dont think its as simple as you're making it out to be. Besides, even when i'm functional i still fail at life.

    And no meds. I refuse to have to take a pill everyday... That right there makes me feel worse. Theres nothing wrong with me i'm just a little different... And wanting to die.... Idk.... Trapped and confused.
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    There is nothing wrong with you then why do you feel as you do ican tell you why chemical inbalance in your brain and unless you fix it you will stay depressed if you choose to get help if not by meds by therapy then it will get better if you do nothng then nothing will change how can it. Meds work even if you take it just for awhile to get u through rough times then stop that is what i did i hope you decide to do something to change how you are feeling hugs
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I recommend you get help. It's for the best for you and for the loved ones in your life.

    Good luck and don't give up.
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    and no nothing is easy as it seem life is very hard at times but there can be times life is more peaceful and more enjoyable those times are what keep us going forward not backwards hugs
  11. Green.Triceratops

    Green.Triceratops Account Closed

    Thanks for the replys, you've given me some things to think about.

    I cant imagine getting, let alone asking for help. Its hard to talk about myself. My throat closes and i cant talk. No. I'm just going to try to get through this myself, i've done it before.

    I will keep posting if things get rough but i will attempt to keep safe until then.
  12. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    No problem.

    All the best.
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