I find that I am killing myself by eating poorly. I do walk every day only because my friend gets me up and out yet I really don’t care about being healthy anymore. I hate myself so much that if some illness were to overtake me, I would be happy and as it is a ‘right’ way to die would make it to Heaven. Suicide is out of the question for me as I fear burning in hell. So instead I eat crappy foods and generally don’t care about health or fitness. I have fought the weight battle my whole life, was finally feeling pretty good about myself and then trauma occurred and I went right back to square one.....yet even worse this time as I was now emotionally scarred. I see my therapist this week and plan to tell her but what can she say?