20 years ago a girl stopped me from commiting suicide, now 20 years later, to the date, the same girl (who is now my wife) is driving me to kill myself. I feel so much pain in my life that I want it all to end. I don't want to go on any longer, she tells me that all I have caused was grief and hurt, so I want to die so that that wont happen anymore. According to her even if I am able to do 9 of of the 10 things that she asked, that is not enough. I have lived with no thanks for 18 years. I have lived with the pain of her failing in love with another man. I have lived with the pain that she stayed with me but does not love me. I know that I have made mistakes in my life, but I have tried to be the person that she wanted me to be. I can no longer try anymore, I just don't have the energy. I will be leaving two children behind, they also believe that I am the cause of all our problems and that the reason their mom is mad all the time is because of me. I want the pain to go away. I will die today.